#clearly this second thing is the most important aspect

[silverwhittlingknife]

So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3

[andthespidersfrommars]

other people have worded it better then me, but inej's assertion about having kaz in the without armor scene was clearly not just about emotional vulnerability. it’s a powerful line in the books and a nice metaphor for emotional intimacy, (something inej deserves from kaz) but let's not shy away from the fact that she also made it clear she meant physical intimacy, as her words were "fully clothed, gloves on, head turned away so our lips can never touch" 

this nuance is important to consider, as it reflects the depth and complexity of her feelings at the time. it’s ironic that for people who apparently care so much about inej’s boundaries, the fandom rarely pays attention to what she says. inej has flaws and virtues, some affected by different experiences she's had, and that affects her choices. her words aren’t any less hurtful because of this. she got kaz in a vulnerable moment and said something cruel. later she reflects on this and admits she shouldn’t be holding kaz to standards she can’t meet herself, and she likely said that to him in the first place because she lashed out about something that’s personally a trigger for her and she’s vulnerable about. they both have a lot of issues surrounding physical intimacy. 

that’s one reason why kanej is such a good ship- one of the most healthy, beautiful and nuanced relationships ever between two children who have been through horrific things, exploited, abandoned, and put in danger every day, who have found safety and friendship and understanding in each other. they aren’t going to be speaking super politely and using sensitive, respectful, inoffensive woke therapy speak at every second because that’s not their situation or their relationship and their interactions are raw and real. sometimes they make mistakes (kaz calling inej an investment, inej saying kaz wouldn’t be able to have her if he couldn’t touch her, etc) but they recognise and admit when they do and work through that. the beauty of their friendship lies in their imperfections and their capacity to learn from each other. the bare honesty they share is a testament to their growth, even when it leads to moments of pain or misunderstanding.

to suggest that holding inej to a higher standard and not acknowledging that her words could be perceived as hurtful is akin to ignoring the very human aspects of her character. it’s essential to recognize that she is capable of making mistakes or risk turning her into a perfect fandomised queen incapable of fault. her character's journey is not about being infallible, but about growth, self-reflection, and the courage to confront and overcome her fears. strong and resilient, yet also capable of causing harm, even unintentionally. 

there’s a phenomenon in fandom spaces but particularly the grishaverse where fans have an opinion of something and then deem everyone else’s as bad or wrong, going so far as to make posts calling out other people for having different analysis. literary discussions should encourage an environment where different interpretations are welcomed and discussed respectfully, not minimised and devalued for a more popular fandom take that’s often incorrect when compared with the text of the book anyway. it’s okay for inej to make mistakes and learn from them, just as it's okay for readers to have varied interpretations of their interactions.

[sxcret-garden]

1st Desire ღ Testing Limits [M]

ღ Aspects of Desire series ღ Ateez Jongho x fem!reader ღ words: ~5.9k ღ genre: established relationship, college AU, fluff, some humor, slice of life, smut (dom!Jongho, sub!reader, parts of a very awkward kink negotiation turning into a slightly less awkward kink negotiation asdjflka, choking (reader receiving), unprotected sex, thigh riding, fingering, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms) ღ warnings: (mention of him running his hand through reader’s hair)

Desc.: You and your boyfriend decide to take a step towards a new chapter in your relationship when a secret desire of yours finally slips through. What you didn’t know until now is that he’s more experienced than you thought he was, and that you’re not the only one who’s been dying to spice up your sex life.

Author's note: aaaa I'm really nervous about how this series is gonna do, now that I'm finally putting out the first chapter!! I've been working on it for quite a while and it's become a very important project to me, so I hope y'all enjoy reading as much I enjoy writing it <3

next chapter →

If someone asked you about the thing you appreciate the most about your boyfriend (at gunpoint, because there’s no way you could choose just one trait under normal circumstances), you’d say it’s his softness. A softness that’s apparent in his smile and in the way he treats people, yet only selected few get to see fully. You remember the first time you felt he was opening up to you a bit, granting you permission to see what’s going on inside, and how that was the moment you started falling in love with him. 

It’s the kindness in his words, behind the sound of his voice when he was reassuring you that he didn’t mind you calling him late at night and out of the blue because you needed someone to talk to, and he was the first person who came to mind. And the other way around, it’s the way he suddenly seemed very small as he crawled into his safe haven that has unmistakably become you when he went through a rough time. 

It’s how he talks to people in general, treating everyone with kindness first of all, because it’s among his core beliefs that everyone deserves to be faced with respect. And it’s the warmth that inevitably breaks through the cracks and to the outside when he smiles, laughs at some weird joke, or simply when he steps aside to make way for a complete stranger rushing past him in the crowd.

It’s how you feel when he holds you, wrapping his arms around you, the warmth of his body warming you up too, and you can finally let go of the tension you’ve been carrying within your bones all day. It’s the way he kisses you - you remember your first kiss that was merely lips brushing against each other in a feathery light touch, and the bright yet shy smile that took over his entire face right after, and you still recall how this too made you fall for him yet a little bit deeper. 

So why is it that you can’t but feel yourself bursting with excitement when he isn’t being soft at all?

It started quite early, in the blink of a moment and definitely not on purpose. You were out with some of his friends and some of your friends, and though most of them could sense there was something going on between the two of you, you weren’t official yet. And so it happened that one of his friends drunkenly, after visiting a bar not far from the place you had spent an entire afternoon together, tried to get close to you. It wasn’t to the point you would’ve felt uncomfortable - he started talking to you like one normally would when attempting to strike up a conversation, asking questions that made it clear he was interested in you. You didn’t find his way of chatting with you overbearing or anything, and you didn’t think much of it when he touched your arm seemingly mindlessly, but the second it striked you that just maybe this guy was glued to you a bit unusually much, Jongho stepped in. You can clearly recall the anger reflecting on his face, suddenly making an expression that didn’t show a single trace of the kindness you were used to. You don’t remember what exactly he said when he told the guy off, you barely even remember the shock apparent in your other friends’ hushed whispers as everyone seemed to agree that his reaction was a tad exaggerated. What you do recall was how it made your heart suddenly skip a beat. Back then you appointed this solely to your budding feelings for him and that you were crushing on him bad. However, with each time the memory came back to haunt you afterwards, it became more and more clear that there was something undeniably attractive about this side of him that is anything but soft. 

You also felt it when you were play fighting, like that time he momentarily raised his eyebrows at you almost mockingly, looking down at your smaller frame while holding an item just out of reach to mess with you as revenge, after you had managed to mildly piss him off. And even when that expression was wiped off his face mere seconds later as he handed you what you were desperately trying to reach with an apology accompanied by a sheepish smile, the pounding in your chest wouldn’t cease. 

And then there’s another situation where these complex desires you’re keeping hidden away mostly because you just don’t know how to bring them up to him keep taking over and clouding your mind, like a fire that’s only waiting to be ignited, in order to burn you up whole.

His lips brush against yours, parting from you after what can barely be considered a kiss. You feel his weight on top of you, he has your hands pinned against the bed to either side of your head, supporting himself like that as he rolls his hips into yours. Smooth and slow movements meant to satisfy you, but not for long, and yet the pleasure keeps building up in the pit of your stomach. 

“Fuck…” you mutter a curse, squeezing your eyes tightly shut in the race towards your high, and still you know he isn’t giving you everything yet. 

“You look so pretty like this.” The words slip past Jongho’s lips, and you sigh at the way they make you feel, only to take a glance at his face, seeing the desperate chase towards his high reflecting on his features as well. He lets go of one of your hands without changing the pace at which he thrusts into you, fingertips dancing down your arm until he reaches your jaw, loosely cupping your face. The touch sends an electric wave through your body, and you remember a distinct thought that keeps creeping into your mind time and time again these days. And now that he has brought his hand so close to where you’re aching to really have it, you can’t but put your own palm on top of it. If it hadn’t been for these coincidences, this, and the fact that just before he had pushed you down onto his bed to make love to you, this thought came to haunt you once again, you wouldn’t do what you’re about to do.

You wrap your fingers around his wrist, and without any signs of resistance, he lets you peel his hand off your cheek. However, when you place it on top of your throat instead, extending your neck almost instinctively when you feel his fingertips grazing your pulse, your boyfriend slows down, and eventually his movements come to a halt.

“Are you… are you sure about this?” As you hear him whisper those words, your first thought is that he must not like what you just did. But when you take a look at his face, and you see the way his eyes have undeniably darkened, his lips slightly parted as he tries to catch his breath, you feel like the complete opposite must be true.

“Yeah,” you mouth. “Been wanting to try this for so long…” Your confession causes yet another emotion to spark behind his gaze that’s suddenly so intent, and so much more intense than you’re used to. It takes him merely a moment to process your words, then he moves away from you with a muttered “wait”. Depriving you of both the touch against your throat that you’ve been longing for so much, and the sensation of him filling you up so perfectly leaves you feeling unexpectedly empty, but when he instead sits before you, taking you by the hands and pulling you towards him, you follow eagerly while something connects in your mind - he knows what he’s doing.

“Come here,” Jongho whispers, inviting you into his lap, his gaze finding your lips while he helps you move closer. “Ride me?” You can only nod once before he kisses you, allowing you to sink down on his length as he releases you and then reconnects your lips, and without hesitation you can feel him putting his hand around your nape again. He starts with bringing his palm up to your chest, moving it up unhurriedly, yet not letting you wait, and as soon as his thumb brushes across your throat, you break the kiss to throw your head back and you let out a soft moan. Your heart is racing like crazy from the simple motion alone, and he places his other hand onto your hip to guide you into a steady pace on top of him.

“You like that?” he asks, curiously, and yet you don’t miss the amused spark flaring up in his eyes when you glance at him.

“Yeah,” you reply honestly as your whole body heats up. It really does feel even better than you imagined it, like this one simple touch has engulfed you in flames, making you feel a kind of sensation you’ve never felt before. Your boyfriend moves his hand to the back of your head, entangling his fingers with the strands of your hair now, and you immediately furrow your brows in protest. It causes a smirk to appear on his lips, and the thumb of his hand resting on your hip finds its way to your clit, starting to give the sensitive bundle of nerves some attention.

“F-fuck…” you stutter, arms thrown around his shoulders and you let yourself fall forward in order to bury your face in the crook of his neck. Tutting at you, he brings his hand back to where you wanted it, pushing you away gently in order to be able to look at your face.

“Let me watch as you cum,” he mutters, his gaze taking in your features, and when you whimper in agreement he too lets out a breathy moan. Applying some more pressure to your clit, he never once takes his eyes off you as you’re racing towards your high - you can tell he’s enjoying this newfound power he has over you, and it’s getting him off too. 

Only a few more repetitions of your movements on top of him and your hips start to stutter, and when he moves his hand resting against your throat just a bit further up, blood rushes to your head at once. You know you won’t last much longer, and so you mewl,

“G-gonna cum…” A sigh of approval falls from his lips, before he answers with a strained “me too”, and then your high comes crashing down on you. You dig your nails into the skin on his shoulders as your body is shaken, and the convulsions around his cock buried inside of you have him letting out a broken groan, before you can feel him releasing deep in your cunt as well. 

As you gradually come down from your respective highs, you lie down side by side, and when your eyes meet for a moment you both know it’s about time you two had a conversation about this. However, for now it’s too late at night anyway, and with him nuzzling his nose into your temple and pulling you close, you decide that it could just as well wait until tomorrow. 

“So…” Your boyfriend joins his hands together in front of him, his right hand clasping his left fist, and the second you look at him, he looks away instinctively.

“Yeah…” you answer, knowing what he’s trying to say, but somehow it’s hard to break through the air of awkwardness that has settled around you the moment you both sat down in the living room area of his flat. With him having made himself comfortable on the sofa (and then subsequently tensed up as you entered his proximity), you decided to misuse the coffee table in front of it as a seating opportunity, for the sake of being able to sit across from him, figuring that might make the conversation easier.

It doesn’t. You both don’t know what to say, and this is by no means a one time thing. You recall other occasions where you both sat down to talk and then the beginning of the conversation was similarly difficult, just that usually it’s about a problem you have, hurt feelings, or anything else one of you felt needed to be talked out. And you know that usually one of you eventually breaks the ice - admittedly it’s him who gets the conversation going most of the time, a skill you very much value in your boyfriend - but this here is very different. Sure, sex has been brought up between you two before, you are actively having sex with each other after all, but somehow the feel of a talk about it has never seemed this serious.

“Is it… supposed to be this awkward?” This time it’s you who starts the first attempt at smoothing out the mental obstacles that are undoubtedly there. And it seems to be working, because as Jongho lets out a soft laugh at your remark, you can see some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

“Ah, no…” he says, but then he quickly adds, “I mean, it can be, I guess. The first time I had this conversation it started the same, so…” Ending on an implication, he monitors your reaction to his words closely for an entirely different reason. You know he broke up with his last girlfriend not too long before the two of you started getting closer, but he’s never talked about their sexual relationship with you before.

“Oh?” You raise your eyebrows, now feeling genuinely curious. “What do you mean?” Your boyfriend straightens his back as he rolls back his shoulders, and with you watching how his gaze wanders from one point to the other on the wall behind you, he gathers his thoughts and becomes serious.

“You know… when you put my hand around your throat, I liked that. I mean,” he lets out a short laugh, “I think you figured as much.”

“I could tell, yeah,” you confirm, and when he looks at you to continue talking, you feel yourself gulping. His gaze seems more intense than usual, despite his otherwise softened features - or are you imagining things and it’s just your own nerves? You have no idea.

“I did this kind of stuff with my ex too,” he says. “Like… not just the choking, you know? We did other things too, dipped our toes into testing out what it would be like if I have more power over the situation,...”

“Like… BDSM stuff?” The question comes out more awkwardly than it should’ve, and you can clearly sense that you have no idea how to approach the topic in conversation. Then again, it’s just another thing people do - no need to be so uptight about it, right?

“Yeah.” He’s averting his gaze again, shyness creeping onto his face, and somehow you find the contrast between his words and the air around him endearing.

“Like… with whips and stuff?” you continue asking, because you’ve never thought about him in that context, but somehow you can see the association making sense.

“Ah, no, we didn’t go that far,” Jongho explains, waving his hands in front of himself to underline his statement. “We did other things, but… ultimately what we wanted out of that play didn’t align.”

“Oh,” you gasp, wondering whether that was part of the reason why they broke up, but you don’t pry for now.

“So… what I’m trying to say is… I’ve been thinking about how to bring this up to you. But I didn’t want to… make you feel uncomfortable. Since we’ve been keeping things very vanilla so far, you know?”

“You wouldn’t have-” you immediately try to refute, but you stop yourself. Really, you don’t know if you would’ve been intimidated by your boyfriend’s desires. It probably depends on what kind of stuff he wants to do to you. Expanding on the image you brought up earlier in your head, you realize you’re not sure if you’d be okay with whips after all. “Actually, what are the things you want to do?” You decide to pose a question instead, understanding that you shouldn’t give him any definite answers about this without being 100% sure about them yourself. And though you expect him to have a reply right away, he hesitates.

“Maybe… we should take this slow,” he says, voicing his thoughts out loud, and you can tell he really is afraid of scaring you off. So you reach out across the gap in between your knees, until your hands are resting on top of his.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. “Let’s talk about it, and I tell you if I’m okay with the things you want.”

“Okay,” he agrees eventually, but then sinks into thought once again.

“What is it?” you chuckle as he doesn’t speak. “You’re taking this very seriously.” Your remark tears him out of his thoughts, and the complicated expression on his face tells you he isn’t entirely sure how to take your words. “I mean, isn’t it about fun most of all?” you add, and now he furrows his brows.

“It’s not that it’s not about fun, just… you need to be careful about these things. Even with what we did last time, if I put my hand around your throat the wrong way or apply too much pressure I can seriously hurt you. And I don’t want that.” Not just from the content of his speech, but also from the way he looks at you you can tell that there’s some very logical reasons behind his caution, and it causes you to think that maybe you’re not taking this seriously enough.

“You’re right, I think I get it now,” you answer, lowering your head apologetically.

“So maybe we should start with the things I’ve done before,” your partner continues. “That way we can test the waters, and I can make sure I know what I’m doing and can ensure your safety.”

“That sounds like a plan.”

“So… are you okay with the kind of dynamic where I take on a more dominant role?” he follows up with a question, and you swallow thickly at all the associations popping up in your head. Even just the thought of you submitting to him has your temperature rising, and so you nod.

“Yes, I would like that.”

You talk about a few things, mostly kinks and practices he brings up, and as he’s taking his time discussing everything, repeatedly reminding you that if you’re unsure about something you can just say no and bring it up at a later point if you happen to get curious about it again, you’re beginning to develop an entirely new understanding of boundaries. It’s like everyone talks about them and their importance, yet it’s hard to figure out how to have a conversation about them, except for the “say no if you don’t want something” part. And even that’s tricky, because sometimes people simply don’t respect a no.

You feel like that’s not the case here at all, and so your conversation becomes yet another reason for why you feel you can trust him so much. And at the same time you come to understand that he too needs to be able to trust you, if you’re going to try getting more adventurous in the bedroom.

“Let’s use the color system, just in case,” he suggests. “Have you heard of it?”

“Like ‘green’ for ‘keep going’, ‘red’ for ‘stop’ and ‘yellow’ for…”

“For ‘slow down�� or… as a sign you’re getting close to your limits,” he finishes the sentence for you. “Even if we’re just going to try one thing at a time, I’d like to use that to check in with you, just in case.” You agree with his suggestion, and at the same time you notice how you’re much more comfortable than at the beginning of the conversation. No trace of awkwardness left. Instead, you feel yourself getting excited at all the new opportunities opening themselves up to you at once. You’ve been fantasizing about spicing up your sex life for a while now, and having finally made that first step towards it affects you in more ways than one.

“So…” you mutter as you lean in, your hands reaching for his and fitting into them very naturally. “Wanna get right to it?” You ask, your lips merely an inch away from his, but Jongho just laughs as he leans back.

“Y/N, isn’t it about time you leave for your evening class?” Immediately, a pout forms on your lips, and you’re more than unhappy about him bursting your bubble like that.

“It’s not a class, it’s just a meet-up for a project…” you refute, though you shouldn’t skip that either. Your boyfriend gives you an endearing look, his gums showing as he shoots you a smile and he extends his arm to run his fingers through your hair.

“Go to that meet-up, Y/N,” he says, and his expression changes ever so slightly as he adds, “And when you’re back, we can see if there’s a way I can reward you for your hard work.” You can undeniably feel the shift in energy from his last words, the way you suddenly feel like you’re smaller than him, like he’s been elevated to standing just a step above you. It’s not like you haven’t felt this air of dominance radiating off of him ever before, but after your conversation just now it has been put into an entirely new context, and it causes yet another spark of excitement to sear through you. And so all you can do is nod and get up to get ready for your meeting.

When the sun has long set and you get back home, your boyfriend is already awaiting you, as promised. To the question about whether you have eaten dinner yet, you answer no, and to your dismay he makes you wait for the thing you’re really craving just a bit longer.

“You should eat,” he says, hand brushing against your back as he notices you sitting down in front of some leftovers with a disappointed expression on your face that you just can’t hide, and he adds with an amused chuckle, “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you this impatient.” You say nothing, and when you continue sulking it just makes him laugh some more. You know he’s being caring - and definitely reasonable - when he makes you do your evening routine too after that, but deep inside you really do wonder how he can bear the wait that you’re very much already tired of. And then finally you’re moving towards the bedroom, and if you’re not mistaken you can finally see a hint of impatience in the way he watches you walk up to him.

You take a step forward, to where he’s sitting at the edge of the bed and you place your hands on his shoulders, fingers playing with the collar of his pajamas. His hands find purchase on your waist, pulling you in closer yet, until your shins hit the wooden bedframe, and then his palms wander south to your hips. 

“I’ve made you wait too long, hm?” he mutters. You say nothing, instead running your fingers through his hair, and your boyfriend briefly closes his eyes as he leans into your touch. You move towards him, bowing down in order to press a kiss onto his lips, and when your fingers begin fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, you reply with a chuckle,

“You did.” Watching you as you finish undoing the button-up shirt, he allows you to sit in his lap to straddle him once you’re done, and without hesitation you connect your lips to his. You can feel him sigh into your kiss as your fingertips come in contact with his stomach, and you move your palm all the way up in order to place it at the back of his neck. His tongue swiping across your bottom lip, you let him deepen the kiss, and when you play with the short strands at the back of his head he becomes just a little more passionate in how he kisses you. Effortlessly, he takes the lead from you, and when you finally part you’re more breathless than he is. One of his palms now placed at the small of your back, he pulls you closer yet, applying some pressure to make you roll your hips on top of him. 

“That’s right,” he mutters, your faces mere inches apart, and you let out a shaky breath at the friction of your clothed cunt rubbing against his leg. He brings his free hand up to cup your cheek, gaze dropping down to your lips, but contrary to your expectation, he doesn’t kiss you. “Keep going,” he encourages you, and so you fall into a steady rhythm, a wave of heat rushing to your core with every repetition of your movements. “Feels good?” he asks and you nod.

“Yeah…” His gaze burns like fire as he watches you closely, making sure he doesn’t miss a single change of expression on your face.

“So, what’s your color?”

“Green…” you respond without having to think about it much, feeling the pleasure slowly building up. “You could tell though, right?” you add.

“Yeah.” Jongho smiles at you, letting his hands travel to the hem of your shirt and pulling it up. You let go of his shoulders for a moment to let him peel it off you, before he flings it somewhere to the ground and you throw your arms around his neck again. “Just thought I could bring it up once,” he then adds, and you let him hear a soft chuckle. 

“You don’t have to be that careful,” you whisper. To be quite honest, you adore him for taking your safety so seriously, way more seriously than you think is necessary - because as for you there’s no way you’d feel uncomfortable about something as tame as this, but you appreciate his caution nonetheless.

A curse falls from your lips as you’re able to feel your orgasm gradually building up somewhere in the depths of your stomach, and when you feel him running his hands up your torso once more, a shiver runs down your spine. He’s letting his touch come close to your throat, but not quite far enough, and yet you lean your head back instinctively, to give him access. You don’t miss the amused huff he lets out at your reaction, and instead of his fingers, you can now feel his lips attached to your skin there. Supporting you with his palm against your back, he kisses his way up along your pulse, the sensation making you moan, and when he lets his teeth graze your skin just below your ear your head starts to spin. Your hips stutter at the sensations overwhelming you, and he’s quick to reach for your waist to hold you down, making you halt your movements. He scatters kisses along your jaw before calling your name to make you look at him, and when you do, he brushes his lips against yours. Deepening the kiss, he simultaneously slips his hand past the hem of your pants, and when he presses his fingertips against your folds through your soaked underwear, you can feel him grinning into the kiss.

“Already made a mess of yourself, hm?” You shudder at his words, and at the tone of his voice that’s somehow different from how he usually talks to you in this kind of situation. You’re used to him speaking softly as he quite literally makes love to you, but this is different. 

Everything about it is different, right from the moment he invited you to sit on his lap. So this is what he was talking about, what you were so curious about, and now that you’re getting a taste of this side of your boyfriend, the only thing you know is that you want more.

“Y-yeah,” you can only whimper an answer, and you suck in a sharp breath when he pushes aside your soiled panties in order to touch you directly. He watches again, the look in his eyes making you feel small and helpless - but not in a bad way. It’s like you want him to take control of you, to do with you whatever he pleases - you feel yourself submitting to him. 

A finger pushed inside your wet pussy has you moaning, a second finger makes you curse and fall forward, attempting to bury your face in the crook of his neck, but he clicks his tongue and pushes you back into an upright position with his palm against your chest. 

“I want to watch,” Jongho says, it’s almost a whisper, the energy behind his words is very different from the last time this exact scenario played out, and his words ring in your ears loudly, only serving to amplify the pleasure his touches send through your body. Bucking your hips into his hand to see whether he would allow you to move, you become aware of the bulge in his pants, and the urge to touch him overcomes you.

“Can I…?” You ask, looking down on him and then back into his face, and his answer is short and clear.

“No.” He curls his fingers that are buried in your cunt, pulling them out only to thrust them back in, and when he finds that perfect spot inside you, you arch your back into his touch, your nails digging into the fabric covering his shoulders.

“Right there… don’t stop…” you beg, eyes shut tightly, as he continues fingering you at an unhurried pace. You roll your hips into his hand, your sensitive bud grazing his palm for some friction with every movement, and you can now undeniably feel your high approaching at lightning speed. 

“Look at me, Y/N,” he says, and your name spoken in this tone you’ve never heard from him alone would’ve almost sent you over the edge. “You look so pretty when you cum. But…” The broken whine you let out when he removes his hand from your core as you shudder causes a hint of delight to tug at the corners of his mouth. “You’re gonna look even prettier when you cum with my hand around your throat.”

“Why…” is all you can whimper at his sudden action, not having fully registered the meaning of his last words yet. Then he pushes you off his lap and back onto your feet.

“Take your clothes off for me,” he orders, his tone softening, yet his sharp gaze won’t leave you. You do as told, and he as well rids himself of his pajamas, before he makes you lie down flat and comfortably in the middle of the bed. He wastes no time to get on top of you, scattering a trail of impatient kisses from your sternum up to your mouth. His lips feel rougher against yours now, his tongue quick to part them and to find yours as your hands fly to his back, nails digging into his bare skin. Up until now he’s usually taken his time with you, no surprising movements at all, and so you understandably gasp in surprise when now he unexpectedly breaks the kiss to sit up, reaching for your thighs and bringing them up. Throwing your legs over his shoulders, he leans in closer, and you mewl when he rolls his hips against yours once, his cock grazing your folds and clit.

“That feel okay?” he asks, and you nod immediately, clenching around thin air as you feel yourself growing more and more impatient. 

“I’m okay,” you reply, desperately. “More than okay.” His hands resting on the underside of your thighs as he presses them into the sheets to your sides, he pushes up into you, making you cry out from the force behind his thrust. 

“Shit…” you curse at the impact.

“And that?” he asks. “How’s-”

“Please just keep going, please…” you interrupt him, and contrary to your plea, he does nothing but look down at your state with a big smirk on his face. He has you exactly where he wants you, you know that now, and to be honest? You can only wonder why you haven’t started having rougher sex like this earlier. “Please…” you whimper again.

“What do you want?” Jongho asks, placing one of his palms onto your stomach. “Want me to ruin you?”

“Y-yes please,” you whine. He moves his hand up a bit, slowly, but not too slow, and when he finally snakes his fingers around your throat, you let out an uncontrolled moan.

“Like this?” he asks, and at this point you’re sure he’s only dragging this out to provoke you for the fun of it. And yet, with his hand around your neck like this you don’t have the strength in you to fight back or to do anything but beg.

“Y-yes… baby please…” 

“Please what?”

“Please ruin me…” This seemingly being the answer he wanted to hear, he now starts thrusting into you, slowly at first. But his smooth motions soon turn into something rougher, something led not by self-control, but by his own lust, maybe his need for release, maybe his desire to see with his own eyes what he can do to you like this. And then there’s his hand around your throat, his touch feeling hot against your skin, even though it’s only resting there, not applying any pressure whatsoever. And still you find yourself unable to do anything but moan along with the pace he’s pounding into you, his weight pressing your body into the mattress. Groans fall from his lips as well, and you can feel a dull pain as he digs his nails into the flesh on your thigh. 

“‘M coming… close…” you mewl, and as if that was his cue, you feel his grip around your neck becoming just a bit tighter, and his fingertips press down onto your pulse. Your head starts to spin, your mouth falling open, one broken moan after the other coming out, and mere moments later your high crashes down on you. Your body shakes violently and you feel your boyfriend’s hand being retracted from your throat, and the second he does you moan his name, clenching around his length that’s thrusting in and out of you even faster now. It doesn’t take long until he as well finds his release, a hissed curse falling from his lips as his short hair falls into his face, covering his expression as he too is shaken from the pleasure.

He pulls out of you, reaching for the tissues he’s keeping beside his bed to help clean you up before doing the same for himself and then he thoroughly inspects your throat, making sure he didn’t accidentally apply too much pressure or leave a mark.

“Are you okay?” he asks and you nod. “No pain anywhere?”

“No,” you answer, giving him a tired smile, and then you sit up. “Actually… I really enjoyed that.” For some reason you feel shy as you speak those words, and he immediately picks up on your state of mind, reaching out to cup your face and run his thumb across your cheek in a reassuring motion.

“That’s good.”

“And you? Did you… enjoy it?” And now suddenly he looks away somewhat shyly as well, and for a second there it’s hard to imagine this is the same person who’s been fucking you like that just a hot minute ago.

“I did,” your boyfriend answers. 

“Then let’s try out more,” you suggest, but then you rephrase your words to make them come out sounding as sure of yourself as you are. “I want to know more.”

[aroaceleovaldez]

I HAVE BEEN REMINDED OF SOMETHING i think i've made a post about it before but maybe it's just sitting in my drafts. idk, whatever, I will ramble again. Said thing that reminded me was a tiktok by madison_murrah about how the PJO TV show doesn't get the balance between mundanity and magical correct for pjo and I want to expand on that cause while a.) it totally is a problem in the show and i take issue with it, b.) it is also a problem in later books and i ALSO take issue with that too and i would like to elaborate on it

this got long so ramble of the day below the cut:

so the thing is that PJO is actually pretty unique in it's approach to hidden world modern fantasy. like, hidden world modern fantasy is a decently established genre with a ton of examples, but there's a reason why PJO stands out so much, and that's because technically it's NOT "hidden world." There is very intentionally no distinction between the mundane world and the mythological, at least in first series. They 100% overlap. And you do not necessarily need to be "special" to see the "mythological world-" some mortals are totally naturally clear-sighted, a lot of kids are clear-sighted, and it's like 50/50 for if mortals can become clear-sighted. In fact, most demigods aren't immune to the effects of the Mist, all that really matters is if you're actually thinking about being able to see through it. And there's a reason for that!

In general, this format of the "hidden world" modern fantasy serves two purposes: One, as the series is meant to introduce people to Greek mythology and explain why it is relevant and how it can be relatable in modern contexts, it intentionally juxtaposes myths against modern concepts: Medusa runs an apparently average garden statue store. Procrustes runs a mattress store. The entrance to the Underworld is in LA at a record store. Circe lives on an island paradise that's secretly dangerous. Hydras are like chain donut stores that seem to pop up on every corner. Perseus and his mother struggle in Perseus' childhood but get a happy ending. Calypso has an island paradise where the challenge for the hero of our story is being tempted to leave behind his goals. The plot of Sea of Monsters is blatantly the Odyssey, and it's about Percy trying to get to his best friend (who he shares a literal psychic link to) who is in danger of getting married to someone awful (a literal monster) to help you understand Odysseus trying to get back to Penelope and how important to each other and in sync they are. Battle of the Labyrinth is Theseus and the Labyrinth and it's Percy/Theseus trying to protect his home and his people and fellow kids (like Nico) from the dangers in the maze. These are all supposed to help us understand what is actually going on in those stories.

We also still see how Greek mythology influence shapes and influences western culture in general in their world (which is supposed to be our own and so uses real-world examples) - in government, in architecture, in pop culture - Mythomagic is clearly supposed to be your standard TCG like Magic The Gathering. And in general there is no distinction between where the mythological ends and mundane begins - Camp Half-Blood is both a magical training space for demigods and your run of the mill underfunded summer camp, complete with cheesy camp songs and t-shirts and crafts. Olympus is located on top of the Empire State Building which is operating completely as normal except for when a demigod asks to go to a non-existent floor. Your best friend with a muscular disease in his legs is secretly a satyr. Your brother with down syndrome is a cyclops. Your teacher in a wheelchair is secretly an immortal centaur. Your crappy algebra substitute is a literal fury. But also they're still your teachers. The satyr is still your best friend, the cyclops is still your brother. And that brings me to the second aspect of all of this (which i have talked about before [here] and [here]) - the other purpose it serves is that it is an extension of the overarching disability themes that form the core of the series.

The entire reason that meshing of mundanity and magical is so intertwined is entirely because it's part of the disability metaphor, specifically inspired by early 2000s parenting/teaching concepts for children with disabilities, particularly learning disabilities, as trying to reframe disabilities as "superpowers" to empower kids (and still exists in some more modern forms - like referring to disabilities as "being differently-abled") (I talk about it in my previous post on the subject but this generally fell out of favor due to many kids/students finding it belittling of their struggles) - this is why we get the description of ADHD and Dyslexia being framed as "demigod superpowers." In the series this structure is intentionally made to encourage kids to reframe how they view disabilities in general as not something negative but something interesting and fantastical that they may be more open to engage with - and PJO does this in a really nice way where a lot of the disability struggles are still acknowledged and treated sympathetically. Kids still get bullied, Percy and Annabeth struggle in school or with reading/spelling, they grapple with both internal and external ableism. The entire reason for the titan war in the first series, at least from the demigod perspective, is criticizing flawed systems meant to support disabled people that don't do their job effectively or let too many people fall through the cracks. The Mist "hiding" the "mythological world" from mortals (and even some demigods) is about how most abled people (and some undiagnosed people) don't recognize disability struggles until it affects them personally. None of these things are glossed over! It's handled with nuance and care! The series says "you can be disabled and you can be like these fantastical heroes - not in spite of your disability, but alongside it. Neither negates the other." The series was explicitly made so Rick's disabled son could see himself in a hero and learn about mythology for school. Those are the two pillars of the entire franchise: Disability and learning about mythology.

So, when you mess with that "hidden world" structure, the entire thing falls apart and it immediately doesn't feel right, because it's no longer serving either of those two purposes when it needs to be fulfilling both. Late-series Riordanverse has a tendency to compartmentalize the mythological and keep it entirely sectioned off from the mundane. Think about first series and even TKC versus later series - how many mortal characters are there? what do they do? are they just in the background or do they interact with the main cast frequently? are they more than just family or an extension to the main cast? First series we see Percy's classmates frequently, Percy talks about his mundane experiences at school, multiple mortal parent characters (and other mortal characters like Rachel) are active participants in and vital to the plot. We even see a lot of background mortal characters. In TKC, not only are all the magicians technically mortal, but also Sadie's completely mundane best friends help her out. Now think about HoO, or ToA, or even MCGA. Think about the mortal characters in those series. How important are they? Out of the important ones, how much are they in mundane situations versus being almost entirely involved in something mythological? How many aren't related to any of the main cast? How many aren't actively working for a god? The answer is basically zero! Why is that? Because Rick stopped letting the mundane exist. The entire draw of the main series is that Percy does continue to live this mundane life and that adds to his mythological life and makes the balance and meshing between them interesting, but basically all mundanity ceases to exist by HoO. Camp Jupiter is an isolated entirely magic town. Percy and Jason's schools are full of mythological beings as basically the only people they interact with. The Tri's headquarters is an entire giant building in New York City that they completely control that just so happens to ALSO be directly across the street from the local Oracle's house, because even where Rachel lives isn't allowed to be mundane anymore. Why is Olympus just at the top of the Empire State Building versus the Tri having an ENTIRE building? That feels weird and unbalanced, particularly given the difference in importance between those two! Because one is playing into that balance of the meshing of mundane and magical and the other isn't! The show continues this trend. It doesn't allow any of the mythological to exist within mundanity like it functions in the books, which creates a completely different atmosphere and doesn't allow those spaces or scenes or characters to serve their actual narrative purposes, either making it easier to understand mythology contextually or what disability metaphor or representation is occurring there.

It's part of the problem with show!Percy being too mythologically-savvy - Percy is supposed to be the mundane lens unfamiliar with mythology that the audience is learning by proxy through. That's the entire point of the series! If you have Percy already know everything because he's already too ingrained into this mythological environment from the start, and he just exists in this entirely magical world where he understands everything immediately then the literal target audience of the entire franchise (students being introduced to mythology) is left behind! That's part of why the pacing of the show feels so bad! It's rushing through every scene that's more or less the same as the books, particularly anything mythological, because the show is assuming you've already read the books and already know enough mythology to know what it is and what happens and that you don't want to see it again, so it rushes through. The show doesn't explain things that it presumes you already know - worldbuilding, character decisions, basically any mythology, etc, so it doesn't even bother with it.

Later books in the franchise do this too - as long as it's tangentially Greco-Roman mythology, or if it's anything to do with the main series like a reference in TKC or MCGA or etc, it's not going to elaborate much if at all. HoO speeds through Jason's introduction to CHB, and the only reason we get much introduction to Camp Jupiter is because it's actually new. We're no longer trying to contextualize or learn about mythology, it just all becomes set-dressing and references thrown at you rapid-fire as filler. By late HoO and into TOA and TSATS and such, we're not longer even within the realm of pretending like we're adhering to mythology at all. Why is Iris a vegan? Why is Rhea a hippie? Dunno, don't care! Literally doesn't matter! Why are the pandai panda/elephant-monsters and the troglodytes frog-monsters when that's not part of their actual history at all? Well a.) literally just word associations and b.) possibly a little bit of racism (they're supposed to be humans from India and northern Africa, and you made them monsters. cool. okay. and their plotlines totally aren't horrible within those contexts. awesome. please try thinking literally at all next time, thanks). We're not even bothering to look at mythological instances anymore for a basis, a lot of it's written like we're just going based on the first results on google (hi Menoetes and the cacodaemons - the latter of which is not even spelt correctly once in the entire book - which is weird because they do say "daemon" so they know the word. Not that the cacodaemons are mythologically accurate at all because then they would be humanoid. Instead they seem to just be inspired by the things from Doom). None of it serves the purpose of the narrative at all; we're literally just making random choices, some of them quite distasteful! In large part due to refusing to acknowledge the actual contexts of the myths and how that might translate into something similar or equivalent a modern setting to help conceptualize it - something the first series did inherently by design. And we need this! A.) So that you're less likely to make bad decisions because you are inherently thinking about the historical and cultural contexts of these things and how to compare/explain it, and b.) because the audience for later books/the other series and the show is going to be the same as the first series! Those nonsensical references may be at best cameos to people who are already familiar with them, but if your intended audience is new to mythology then making references like that is just going to leave people out of the loop! You don't shift your target audience in the middle of a franchise!

Later books in the series and the show are failing to understand what the first series was actually doing narratively and how it was approaching these subjects and its audience. When you fail to do that, it completely messes up the general worldbuilding and the core themes and intentions of the franchise as a whole. Once you lose touch with that you might as well just be writing a completely different franchise. You need to approach it from the same lens or else it will feel completely off, because otherwise you've lost all base touchstones that make the series what it is.

[licorice-and-rum]

My response to some "critics" about Babel

Okay, I'm gonna start by saying this: English is not my first language so I may commit some spelling and grammar mistakes here but I felt like I just had to write this down, especially because of the negative reviews this book has that just… didn't get it.

Don't get me wrong, of course you're allowed to not like this book, I recognize that it's most certainly not gonna be everyone's cup of tea but some of the people here just didn't get what this book was all about. Babel isn't a fantasy like ACOTAR, or HP, or whatever (in the sense that, for those, the story guides the message while Babel is the contrary): like many classical books, Babel was written to make a point, it's a romance, sure, but it was written to argue for something - the necessity of violence.

So, first of all: Babel is a historical fantasy, it talks about colonialism, racism, sexism, and other matters with no qualms, no embellishing to make it digestible, no allegories or metaphors because this isn't the point. Kuang's "lack of nuance" as someone here pointed out is very deliberate and extremely important for the story because the points she wants to make are always lost in nuance (just think how many people go on misinterpreting Star Wars, Hunger Games, or even anti-system songs like The Wall ffs), and the message is too important to get lost in allegories.

Second, as to the story, many people seem to think what she's pointing out is obvious "ur dur colonialism is bad, we get it". No, you clearly don't. There's a profound difference between getting it and actually comprehending it to an elemental level. Robin's travel to Canton illustrates that perfectly: he knew that colonialism was bad, he knew it was violent but he didn't comprehend it until he was forced to face it happening in front of him - to people who could've been easily him. More than that, because that was when he finally connected the theory with the reality, it became palpable to him.

It's not enough to get it, you have to actually stay attuned to it, to feel the flow of its violence throughout the world because then, and only then, I'll realize you can't be complacent, you can't turn your head from it. And Babel is an attempt, however tiny, of showing this to you. Of telling you "Look, you're ignoring it, the discomfort you felt reading this is your conscience telling you you relate to that". So no, I refuse to accept that Kuang should have been more nuanced: she was as clear as she could because she knows people say they get it but they don't, not really.

Third, the magical system is just chef's kiss. I've seen many people complaining about it but the thing is: the silver working is not about having magic in the world, it's about creating a palpable, material place where Kuang could center her attention as she talked about the economic aspect of colonialism. That's because colonial power is not centered in one place or thing, it is scattered all around but you can't hardly make a point like Babel's if you have your characters fighting off colonialism in all corners of the world. Like the Capital in the Hunger Games, Babel is a material place that symbolizes something.

Moreover, the silver working symbolizes the Industrial Revolution and its need for the advance of colonialism. More than that, silver-working is about capital, it's about technology to generate more profit, quicker, for a specific class that doesn't care who they have to kill to continue, doesn't care whether it is good or bad for the common folk.

Fourth, many people pointed out how academic Kuang's writing style felt during Babel and they're right, it is indeed very identifiable. I'm sure I even commented something along the lines of "it feels like I'm having the best History lesson of all time". But I'm going to challenge people who say things against the notion that the historical description of Kuang was unnecessary: every time Kuang chose to give the readers historical context has served somehow to the narrative.

I remember early on in the book when Robin was still a teen walking through London and reading anything he could put his hands on, and then we get two paragraphs of historical and political context for the time, then Robin comments that he didn't understand why this mattered so much. That paragraph served so much, both because it made us know a little more about Robin and because it served to make us understand the profound environmental change England was going through at the time.

And every time she did this, it served for something. Again, Babel is a historical fantasy, it is supposed to make you think about the point Kuang is trying to make but you won't understand it if you don't know the context of which Robin and the other characters in the book are coming from. It was a time of decision: either England would consolidate itself as an almost all-powerful oppressor, or it could go down… if the oppressed people - who share a common enemy - understood their responsibility to do something.

The strikes of the English working class, the violent acts of rioters, the advancement in technology, the possibility of the Opium War, the colonialism… it's all important. It's important because it allows us to understand the deep connection between it all. It allows us to understand who profits off of it, and who doesn't; who is able to understand and who isn't. It's why Letty is upper-class. It's why Abel isn't.

It's not as simple as some people think to understand colonialism, the flows through which one thing is tied to another. Why do people ask "How does this affect me?" when we point out deeply unfair things like unpaid maternity leave (I actually saw an American once saying she "wouldn't want her tax money to go to someone who didn't plan through"), like the fact people starve when we have the ability to feed a world and a half, of that Palestine is going through ethnic cleansing? Because they are unable to understand how closely their lives are tied to other peoples they have never met and probably never will.

Kuang's message is not "colonialism is bad", she's saying "These are all the forms through which colonialism is bad to everyone but a few, do something about it", she's saying "Every single one of your struggles is tied together in more ways than you even understand. A person in Haiti, in China, in India, in the other side of the world, has more to do with you than these white rich people, fight with them, stand with them."

Fifth, I can't believe I gotta say this but I'm not going to even bother with you if you think this book is somehow "anti-white": just get over your main character syndrome. We're talking about a historical fantasy set in England in the epitome of colonialism through the eyes of a person of color. Of course, most white people are gonna be bad, get over yourself ffs!

The actual entitlement to the protagonism white people have is maddening. As a white woman (in Brazil, at least), I'm ashamed of some comments here. It's not because white people in this book are majorly racist (which, according to the setting is 100% accurate) that Kuang is talking about you (although, if you're so bothered by it, it's probably about you anyway). This is a book about the experience of people of color under the oppression of colonialism: white people are the problem!

You can't just expect someone to write about colonialism and not talk majorly about race. White people reap all the privileges of this system and not just that, they are responsible for it, and all the crying about being the bad guys is just insufferable (they're actually so right about having to console Letty once she learns about the racism they suffer).

Be f*ing accountable for your privileges, take responsibility for your internalized racism, and be accountable for the system that privileges you. It doesn't matter that it wasn't your fault, that you didn't set up the system, you still benefit from it anyway so get a grip. This story isn't about you at all, it isn't about how some white people fought against slavery or oppression, it isn't about you.

Let's be very clear about this: most white people who fought against slavery did so to serve their own interests, exactly as Kuang points out. This doesn't mean none of them were good people who actually believed slavery was bad but we're talking of a time when racism and racial discrimination weren't even discussed seriously. Most white people, even the ones against slavery would have a deeply ingrained racism in them, so get real.

More than that, though: if those people who actually have no shame in saying Babel is "anti-white" had actually read the book through, they would know that some white people actually help and are good people in the story.

Anyway, Babel is so good, it's so painfully real and so passionately well-written. You can feel Kuang's love for her people, the struggles of what it means to love something but still not be a part of it, the deep understanding of how the world works, and how intricately every single thing in our lives is.

I just felt so heard (as a person from a third-world country) reading Babel, like someone was telling me all this rage and indignation I feel is justified, it's valid. I just treasured it so much, how I identified with Robin's need for security contrasting with his indignation for the price of it; with the rage Griffin carried around him, sharpened and well-directed even in its volition; with the love Victoire had to learn to have for her country and its story; with all the pain I was able to share with someone who understood it.

It's an honor to allow words to change me so fundamentally. It's humbling to realize I'm not alone, that my actions and my feelings are shared by other people. It is really precious, you know, to be able to become a better person than I was before because of a book.

[1moreff-creator]

Extra DRDT CH2 Episode 12 Thoughts

Heya! After making my last post where I just live-blogged my immediate reaction to the episode, I had a few more thoughts that I figured I should write down somewhere. They’re all too small for their own posts, but I still think they’re worth sharing.

Spoilers for CH2 EP12

CW: Murder, hanging, suicide.

The Water Thing

This episode brought up two interesting points which had rarely, if ever, been discussed within the fandom: Arei’s body swinging, and her body temperature and its connection to water. And while I’m relatively sure I saw one or two people mention the swinging at some point, the temperature issue is certainly a new one.

The swinging was explained in the trial: Arei’s body was hung shortly before it was found. But J says something interesting; the corpse should have been warm, unless it was drenched in water and dried. Paraphrasing a bit, but you get the point.

However, I actually don’t think this is a big deal, just adds a slight addendum to previous murder theories. We know the killer dumped the fish in the playground to confuse time of death, so I believe the killer likely splashed Arei with the water to cool her down. This is assuming they even thought about the body temperature, but I don’t think this is a large assumption to make.

I have seen people claim that Arei’s hair looks somewhat wet in the BDA, which… maybe? Anyways, this idea would explain that as well.

This might even give us Possible Explanation Number I Lost Count for the damn missing glove. Maybe it got particularly wet and the culprit worried it wouldn’t dry quickly enough? If people discovered a dripping wet bowling glove, the whole “using fish to confuse the time of death” thing would kinda go straight out the window. I have no idea if that makes any amount of sense, I don’t see why the glove would dry any slower than the rest of her clothes, but oh well.

Arturo’s Talent, and his Recap Foil: Levi

(Here’s the link to the original Recap Foil Theory post by gleamingtempest, in case you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Kinda forgot this was a thing when first watching the episode, but now looking back on it, there’s some neat foiling going on. Levi and Arturo’s backstory already were somewhat opposites in some aspects: Arturo got away from home himself while Levi was disowned, though Levi seems to hold a higher degree of respect for his family in comparison to Arturo. Levi is (now confirmed!) a murderer with no remorse, while Arturo accidentally caused Felicity’s death to some extent and clearly feels guilty about it. Etcetera.

Well, we can add a new detail to this foil! Arturo’s been training his talent since he was twelve, while Levi has admitted since introduction that he’s “a novice to fashion.” Neat detail, and certainly adds to this theory.

Terumin VS Xanvid

Thanks to Haru for pointing this out, but Teruko’s “I’ll fix my mistake” echoes Min’s “I’ll fix your mistake” from her Argument Armament. As I mentioned in the linked post, it’s cool that Teruko is taking a sort of Min-like attitude to her mistakes while calling Xander out, while David is taking Xander’s side in the same trial he calls Min pathetic. Foils and all that.

(Doomed Yuri V Doomed Yaoi, fight!)

This makes me hopeful that Min will still have some importance later. But I’m probably just coping.

What Was David Cooking?

I am kinda sick of talking about this man, frankly. I blame the almost three hour video I made on his MV. But oh well, he’ll stop being center focus soon enough. For now, His Deal is still one of the most central aspects of the episodes, so discuss him I will.

There are two big points of contention with what he said this trial. First, what does he remember about Xander? Second, what was he actually trying to do by pretending to be Arei’s murderer?

The first is pretty simple to assume, I think. David remembers whatever Xander did to become the Ultimate Rebel, and respects him as a result. Especially since Xander’s numeral I in LGI, the Footnote 14 code solved by y-prime, is “I have always looked up to you.”

I don’t think David has Hope’s Peak memories, despite his weird wording with “even if you all lost a year of memories.” He specifically says he and Xander had never met in his Prologue introduction, before they had any real reason to believe they’d lost memories. The LGI video also doesn’t add anything, because… well, it’s not a Milgram MV. It doesn’t come from his memories, it exists purely in meta. This is evident from the comments referencing Byakuya, Nagito and Kokichi, characters these people should have no knowledge of as Veronika claims not to remember anything like the DRDT killing game happening before; certain references to conversations and details David shouldn’t be aware of (mainly in numeral placement), etc.

(While I was writing that, the dev seemingly clarified that David does not have Hope’s Peak memories, then deleted the tweet, so. Just in case, there’s the full reasoning)

The second one is trickier. David is following Xander’s ideals, but that’s all we know. We don’t have a concrete idea of what Xander’s ideals really were, and it’s even harder to know what David thinks Xander’s ideals were.

David: I’m sure he had a good reason. I believe that he did. Xander is not the kind of person to do anything for frivolous purposes.

He believes Xander had a good reason for trying to kill Teruko, he says he’s sure of it, but he never implies to know exactly what the reason was. And if he doesn’t know the exact reason, he can’t for sure say what ideal Xander was upholding by doing what he did.

But, he knows what Xander was trying to do; kill everyone. Because if it was just Teruko, he wouldn’t have tried to mislead people with the CD thing. Although, Xander was following that one note that said to “kill Teruko Tawaki,” so it could potentially be targeted.

So, taking credit for Arei’s murder to try and kill everyone is because Xander tried to do something similar. But the deeper reason he gave, about the nature of the killing game, is it true?

(Apologies in advance for the particularly horrible collage. I am without a reliable computer atm)

David [Annoyed]: Ugh, fucking fine. You want an answer so badly? Any answer?

[Face covered] …

I…

[Sweating] Ah… We’re… in a television show, after all. That’s… what MonoTV said, right?

“Entertainment” is an ongoing show.

If Min successfully got away with the very first murder and escaped while we all died, isn’t that way less interesting for a TV show?

What’s the point of roping 14 other people into one murder, only to kill them all off immediately?

The killer is supposed to fail and get executed. We’re all supposed to catch the killer, again and again, and participate in trial after trail. You’re *supposed* to try to survive.

All of you, who are trying to slice these class trials to continue living on are playing straight into MonoTV’s hands.

[Confident] As if I’ll accept that.

I don’t care how low I’ll sink, or how despicable I’ll have to become. I’ll do anything to carry on Xander’s ideals by ending this killing game, even if it means that I have to dirty my hands.

Oh, this man is lying out his ass.

This is not an answer you hesitate over if it’s true. The words David is saying are neutral; the show is meant for entertainment, and it’s not entertaining if people die early. There’s no controversy there, no reason to be nervous. Especially since Eden’s already come to the same conclusion.

Veronika: You know, Eden once thought of an interesting plan to end the killing game. Based on everything we know, it could theoretically work.

[…]

To make a television show so boring they have no choice but to shut it down.

All we have to do is nothing.

You’re not supposed to be sweating when you’re effectively repeating something Eden said, even if under a different context.

First, David says he’ll give “any answer”, already making anything he says shady. Then, he seems to deliberate on what to say, which is already suspicious.

The most notable thing is that when he starts talking about the TV show, and what it means for it to be entertaining, he still hesitates. If his plan really was to make the TV show boring, once he decides to spill the beans, there’s nothing to hesitate about.

He only regains his confidence at the end, ironically when he’s saying the actually insane stuff. He finally finds the character he was trying to play and actually says something true; he wants to uphold Xander’s ideals and end the killing game. But I really don’t think it’s because he wants to make it boring.

In other words, he’s not lying about wanting to follow Xander and end the killing game, but his explanation about the entertainment has nothing to do with that. It’s way too simple of an explanation for the amount he hesitates. At least, that’s what I think, I may be wrong.

That brings us to the question; if he didn’t take the blame to make the game boring, why did he do it?

Well, currently and without too much confidence, I believe it has to do with Xander’s secondary goal; killing Teruko Tawaki.

One of the most well-accepted theories in the community is that David’s secret, “everything in your life is worth killing over [and] the killing game is all your fault,” isn’t Xander’s, but Teruko’s.

(In fact, side theory: I’m betting (on little evidence) that by the end of the trial, it will be David with his fanboy knowledge to point out that the “survivor’s guilt” secret that Min “received” was actually Xander’s, and reveal by process of elimination (since it’s likely going to be revealed in the trial that Hu has Veronika’s secret and Veronika has Hu’s, assuming those theories are true) that Min has the poison secret. It’s a bit of a wild prediction, but I think it’s a reasonable possibility to how the series would go about confirming the secrets of the dead)

That, combined with the fact that Xander followed a note that told him to kill Teruko, would certainly be enough for David to decide that Teruko’s gotta die. And killing everyone in the class trial is probably the best way to ensure that happens, since David probably doesn’t hunk attacking her directly is a good idea. If Xander, physically the strongest student in the cast, couldn’t get past Teruko’s luck, what the hell is David supposed to do? Especially now that she carries a knife, though I’m not sure David knows that.

It’s not even that out of nowhere; in the LGI video, Teruko’s numeral XIII appears next to a quote regarding the child of Omelas among other things. Very long story (skip to 1:22:22 in this video for the full explanation), but the child of Omelas is someone who must suffer so everyone else can live in a perfect world. It’s possible David thinks of Teruko, for one reason or another, as the Omelas child; she’s gotta die so everyone can be happy. She is someone “deeply unloved” after all.

Now, is this a stretch? Certainly. But I don’t think David’s telling the truth about his motivations, and I think this is one of the more likely options as to what exactly he was cooking here. I’m sure there’s better explanations out there, I just haven’t seen them :v

David VS Whit

I kinda skipped over the “Red Herring pun to David Freakout” line at first, but I think it’s pretty interesting that David gets so mad at Whit’s behavior. They are Recap Foils, so it makes sense they’d have strong emotions towards each other.

In particular, I’d like to point out how David gets mad at Whit for something similar to what he does as a motivational speaker.

I mentioned it in the previously mentioned section of my LGI analysis, but I believe part of the reason David hates Teruko is that he sees himself in her (pessimistic, thinks the world won’t change, etc), and this would be the other side of that. David constantly says things he doesn’t believe to make people happy, and he considers that to be pretty stupid, so it makes sense for him to get frustrated when seeing Whit doing something similar, trying to raise spirits by telling jokes. Looking at Whit is sorta like looking in a mirror, and David hates that. The mirror in LGI is labeled “reflection is due” for a reason.

I’m not fully sure this works 100%, but I think it’s at least worth considering.

Updates on Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice

In case you’re new here, here’s a link to my post detailing the Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice theory, which I came up with alongside some other theorists, and is what I currently believe the murder to be. My thoughts on possible character motivation and the such have shifted a bit since then, but the important part is the physical evidence. In particular, the combination of Lockdown Logic to determine Eden most likely took the tape from the gym and the Fish Timeline to determine someone else must have helped her get the fish, combined with the overly complicated murder method which I describe in detail, leads me to believe Eden is the blackened, and Levi helped her kill Arei.

I’m not going to talk about other theories, I’ll let the dedicated theorists perfect them with the new evidence in their own time. But, how does this theory change?

On the surface, uh, not much. We haven’t talked method much, after all.

(Side note, I know some people are bothered by how long that’s taking, and while I kinda get it, I’m not bothered by it. We’re in no rush; I prefer it if all the character conflict is addressed at some point, even if it delays talking about the actual method. Better than it going unaddressed, after all)

The only change is adding that they splashed Arei with water to hide her body temperature, but as discussed, that’s a minor change.

The big wrench thrown into this theory is the end, because… I’ll be honest, dear audience, I have no clue what Levi’s cooking here. Like, at all. Zero read on why he’s revealing his secret. I could try to speculate, but I can’t find any fully satisfactory answer even outside the Levi!Accomplice theory. Nothing makes sense to me, so I’ll just wait for the next episode before trying to read into it.

There is one unrelated thing I want to bring up, though, and it’s related to Levi’s possible motivation. I know this is one of the biggest sticking points in the theory (obviously), so I’d like to talk about it.

As a refresher: although alternate ideas have been offered, my current guess is that it has to do with his desire to be a good person, and the fact he considers Eden a good person. Cue the whole “A Good Person” hidden title behind “All That Glitters.”

Levi: Perhaps I messed up yesterday. But I want to move on. I want to keep trying to become ‘a good person,’ like you, Eden.

The idea goes like this. Levi thinks Eden is good, and so he wants to do good by her. Based on the secret quote in the code of his character page, we can tell he prefers to speak through actions. He’s a bold action man, and that can cause him to come off as heartless.

Levi: I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness.

My personal theory (again, other Levi motives are possible) assumes that Levi believes someone will win the killing game eventually (and this is an assumption, I won’t deny it), and if only one persona can escape, he’d rather it be Eden than anyone else. Again, “good person.” Levi will die, sure, but unless he becomes a blackened himself, he’s going to die regardless whenever someone gets away with murder.

Now, this isn’t anything drastically different than what I said in the theory post, so why am I bringing it up?

Well, the thing is… Doing something horrible, throwing away your own life and those of most of your peers, all for the sake of the one you’ve deemed to be “a good person”…

Now where have I heard that before?

David: But doing “good” things requires sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice is being seen as a good person.

Even if doing something makes you hated, if that action is for a greater good, then it’s an action you have to take.

Xander is a good person. He’s the only good person I’ve ever known. I swear, I’ll follow in his footsteps and—

Huh. Funny how that works.

My point is that not only is “doing good by the only good person here” now a pre-established line of reasoning these characters can have, Levi doing such a thing for Eden would be a very interesting parallel to what David tried to do for Xander.

This isn’t evidence, to be clear. Just because one guy does it, doesn’t mean a completely unrelated dude is gonna do it too. But I’m calling it now as a potentially interesting parallel to explore, either in canon if I’m right or, like, an AU if I’m wrong :v

That said, I will point out that Hu’s capital G Girlboss Moment is directly after this, the one where she chews David out for deciding what’s best for all of them without consultation. And a little bit afterwards, Levi starts acting weird, apologizing for being useless, revealing his secret, etc. These two things could be connected, if Levi is, like, having second thoughts after that.

I could see a world where Levi’s trying to bring the conversation towards the right answer without fully committing to it, only for something or someone to somehow convince him back to accomplice-hood middway through it. I find that immensely unlikely, to be clear, but again, I genuinely have no idea what Levi’s trying to do right now, so.

All in all, a pretty neutral episode for this theory. Next one could completely break it, though, so I’m excited. I might have to come up with new theories! >:D

God I missed DRDT. And the only drawback of coming back is re-opening LGI trauma :D /silly

Anyways, thanks for reading! See you on the flipside!

[aphrodeiities]

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔭𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔬𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔭𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔭𝔢𝔬𝔭𝔩𝔢 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡

♇ before i get into this post, these celebrities that'll be mentioned are not in order of who is the most photographed, and if there's a celebrity that i have left out in the most photographed people, i mostly likely purposely left them out, there's only twelve people i have picked.

♇ on the other hand, this post can be used to see how you might be treated in the future if you were famous and if you could even belong to the most photographed people in the world days beyond :) + neptune is a very important theme in this post.

+ is also a fame indicator post.

THE DEGREES EXPLAINED HERE IS AIDED BY JANDUZ OR BY MY OWN RESEARCH.

paid chart readings

paid intuitive readings :)

the celebrities/figures i used for this information to be calculated were, pope john paul ii, queen elizabeth, barack obama, marilyn monroe, michael jackson, britney spears, elvis presley, princess diana, muhammad ali, rihanna, john f kennedy and audrey hepburn.

ASCENDANT

♇ the sign in the ascendant that had appeared the most was libra, second was leo and the third was sagittarius, for the modality; the modality that had appeared the most was cardinal while the element for the ascendant that had appeared the most within this research was fire.

♇ though for libra to be the sign that had appeared the most can link to how libra is venus ruled and venus is one of the planets that governs over pictures/cameras and is the more public and media sign of the venus if compared to taurus.

♇ the degrees on the ascendant that had appeared the most was the 18°, a degree that can bring respect to the individual, it's evident that all these people are respected to what they bring to the table, who they are and who they represent. on the other hand, most of the degrees that appeared within the research were mutable/water degrees.

♇ the ascendant aspect that appeared the most was the ascendant aspecting the sun, and much of these aspects were in opposition, the people i have researched are clearly people under a spotlight and since most of them did have the ascendant opposition a planet, it does insinuate that much of them didn't like the attention they received no matter how happy the appeared in front of the paparazzi.

the ascendant aspect to come in second place was the ascendant aspecting mercury. if i am correct, mercury does rule over journalists/paparazzi.

SUN

♇ the sun sign that appeared the most for people who have been photographed the most or chased by the paparazzi is taurus, taurus is ruled by venus which rules over cameras. the second sign to appear the most was capricorn the sign can indicate public fame and having the attention of everyone.

though with the signs that appeared all together, the modality that appeared the most was the mutable modality, and it could be because of how the public and paparazzi like how these celebrities can change who they are to present themselves the way the media like.

♇ the element that appeared the most for the sun sign was earth, the earth element being the most presentable element, an element based on the real world and everything that comes with it, so if you're an earth sun and you become famous, you're likely going to get every thing fame brings, the realistic side of it.

♇ the house the sun appeared in the most for these people was the 6H, it's comical because the 6H can be deemed as the first enemy house and most of these times the celebrities do perceive paparazzi as their enemies most of the times, but the 6H is known as the working house, [along the 10H], but most of these times whenever a paparazzi get's a good picture of a well-known celebrity they get extra cash.

the second house the sun appeared most in, was the 2H and it could link to how these paparazzi's do this as a way of income.

♇ for the sun, the degrees that appeared the most was both the 10° and the 27°, a capricorn and a gemini degree, the 10° is not perceived as the best degree as it is found in a lot of famous exploited people, thus having this degree in a big three or even six does insinuate being disrespected by the paparazzi when it comes to boundaries.

the 27°, the gemini degree is another exploitation degree, usually because one can be favoured so much to the point that people would want to see every move of theirs, and it can become very over-whelming.

the element that appeared the most for the degree, is the air sign degrees, air signs being the social/connections element.

♇ the aspects that appeared the most for the sun is the celestial planet aspecting neptune, neptune another fame planet which also rules glamour, over paparazzi and the more unspoken part of fame.

the second aspect that came out the most was the sun aspecting the moon, the moon is not really deemed as a fame planet, but it brings an audience. two of the planets that were mentioned were water planets. neptune rules pisces and the moon rules cancer.

MOON

♇ as expected, the moon sign that appeared the most for the most photographed people was aquarius moon, three aquarius moon women here marilyn monroe, britney spears and princess diana was exploited in many places, were taken photographs even though they did not want it, aquarius rules unexpected surprises [and it being with the moon is a fame indicator as well,] can bring unwanted themes of fame.

the second moon sign placement was the pisces moon, pisces being ruled by cameras and the paparazzi, not surprising that it came in the top 2. people might also want to live through them by the pictures taken.

♇ the houses the moon appeared in the most was the 1H, the 1H is a fame house and is about "YOU". the second house the moon appeared in the most was the 7H, the house of general public, a business house, like i've said before, people took the pictures to earn money. the 7H is an open-enemies house, and by the celebrities point of views, they did not like the paparazzi.

♇ the modality houses they appeared in the most was cardinal/axis houses, [1H, 4H, 7H and 10H] all important houses for someone's life. the cardinal modality can bring fame because you're the face of a commodity.

moving on with degrees, the degree that appeared the most was the 12°, this degree can bring idolisation.

♇ the aspects that came out the most was the moon aspecting saturn, the moon brings an audience and with it aspecting saturn doesnt necessarily mean it'll bring restriction to "the audience you will have" but it can also insinuate that you feel restricted because of the amount of audience/fame you receive.

the second aspect for the moon that appeared the most was the moon aspecting mercury, and like i've said in the previous paragraph, the moon brings an audience/fame, and it aspecting mercury shows that people in your audience will be very curious about you and would want to know your every move.

MERCURY

♇ the mercury sign that appeared the most was aquarius, aquarius rules over social/connections and it is a global sign [can govern over the word individual/person] and it being paired with the mercury planet makes people want to be aware with your choices, how you live, what you do etc.

the second sign to appear the most was taurus, i have explained why the taurus sign can make someone really photographed because it's rulership of venus and cameras.

though the element that appeared the most was the fire element. those of the fire element are charming, charismatic; would make much people want to catch up with them all the time.

♇ the house mercury appeared in the most was the 6H, [and i have explained how the 6H is a work/job house so obviously the paparazzi did it to earn cash + with the 6H being a mercury house it could be because of their curiosity for them].

the second house it appeared in the most was the 7H, the 7H is a business house. and the mercury planet appeared the most in Earth and Air houses.

♇ moving onto the degree that appeared the most in the mercury planet was the 13°; an Aries degree which brings respect and admiration. can make someone a powerful person which causes many people want to keep up with them, is also an indicator of attracting a lot of people.

the modality that appeared the most was cardinal, is the powerful figure modality.

♇ the mercury aspect that occurred the most was mercury aspecting venus, i've explained how venus rules over cameras [along with neptune, capturing beauty or profiles] and the second mercury aspect to come out was mercury aspecting mars, this insinuates that people can be very ambitious to be around the individual.

VENUS

♇ the sign that appeared the most for venus was aries venus, aries venus is a big beauty indicator, which audrey, rihanna and marilyn monroe [who i have used for this research] have, with this aries venus, it shows that a lot of these photographers wanted to capture their essence and beauty.

the second sign to appear was the taurus venus and this one speaks for itself with the sign itself governing beauty. yet the modality that appeared the most for the venus signs was the cardinal modality.

♇ and the house venus appeared in the most was the 5H, it's not as known but the 5H is a media house, naturally ruled by Leo, it brings people under the spotlight.

the second house that venus occurred in the most was the 7H, [7H a business and partnership house].

lastly for the houses, the venus planet ocurred in the cardinal houses, the most important houses in astrology, [axis houses]. they are the main houses that rules over "YOU".

♇ for the degrees, there wasnt a recurring degree that popped up, but aries degrees appeared the most. this fire degree brings self-confidence that makes people admired, aries degrees brings success and prestigious power, which brings more people to want to take pictures of you.

the second degree to come out the most was taurus degrees, taurus degrees can bring success to an individual, makes them profitable to other people, [btw paparazzi get good money on how good the pictures are]. taurus degrees can make someone sought out and surrounded.

the element that came out the most was the water degree, makes someone very magnetic. :)

♇ finally with the aspects that aligned with venus the most was venus aspecting pluto, makes someone very fascinating and alluring. and second to come out was venus aspecting jupiter; jupiter brings an abundance of an audience and people who admire them.

i have noticed that a lot of venus aspects that appeared the most was with outer planets.

MARS

♇ the mars sign that appeared the most was mars in taurus; i've noticed before this research, that mars in taurus was found in many popular people's natal chart; but aside from this, as i have explained that taurus being venus ruled which governs cameras/capturing beauty/essence, it being paired with mars can make people very ambitious and violent following these individuals around and trying to capture their visuals.

the second sign that occurred the most was virgo and this implies with virgo being the working sign, it can make them attract workers who are very passionate and eager making ends meet and willing to do anything to get pictures of them which can include stalking and invading person space.

♇ the house mars appeared in the most was the 8H, makes tons of sense as the 8H is one of the main stalking homes, how people earn their money, [paparazzi earning money from these individuals], can speak about burdens too, [in these matters burdens of being a celebrity].

the second house mars appeared in the most was the 1H, not surprising as the 1H is specifically about "YOU". though modality wise, mars appeared in cardinal/axis houses the most.

♇ moving onto degrees, the degree that occurred the most was the 22°, this degree can make people used and taken advantage of, in this case the media.

the second degree that appeared the most was the 20°, can make someone feel like they are struggling from achieving freedom and space from people around them.

modality wise what came up the most was the cardinal degrees.

♇ lastly, for the aspects, mars aspecting pluto was what came out the most, can show the violence and obsession people fall into while trying to photograph these celebrities/idols. [and even living through them].

the second mars aspect, was it aspecting the moon, i've spoken before that the moon brings an audience, can also bring worship. with these two aspecting each other it can move people to be heavily allured and enslaving towards the being to the point they want pictures of them all the time. [think of how people always take pictures of the moon].

NEPTUNE

♇ neptune is the main theme for this post, neptune/12h specifically governs the real/scarier/stalker side of fame, where people project onto you, where people want to be like you, and it is the main planet that rules over paparazzi.

♇ the sign that i saw come the most for neptune is leo in neptune, which isnt surprising because leo in neptune puts an individual in an even bigger spotlight. people want to capture your essence, the star-energy. [and since neptune moves slowly for about 13-14 years, for people who are reading this right now you don't need to bother about the sign neptune is in for now].

the second sign to appear was scorpio in neptune, am i surprised for that? no, it'll make the paparazzi more stalker-ish and willing to go really deep and obsessive to follow these people around.

♇ the house neptune appeared in the most was the ninth house, house of admiration and trading. [trading for how the paparazzi will trade the pictures with the people they work with for cash].

the second house it appeared in the most was the 10H, the house of public. [it also appeared the most in cardinal houses].

♇ the degree that appeared the most for the neptune planet was the 8°, a success degree but can bring lack of care of one's mental health and security from other people.

the 2°, is the second degree that appeared the most for neptune, is a success degree, a taurus degree specifically, makes people want to capture the beauty of an individual.

the modality that appeared the most was both cardinal and fixed.

♇ aspect wise, neptune aspecting pluto was what came the most, paparazzi pushing over boundaries, fans in general wanting to be around them and becoming obsessed and viewing them as many things other than human. brings the dark side of fame/popularity/success.

the second aspect to appear the most was neptune aspecting the sun, neptune and sun both brings fame, sun is spotlight and neptune is fans/paparazzi, this aspect attracts crazed people like ants on sweets.

OTHER CALCULATIONS

♇ the top three dominant signs that appeared in people's charts for this research was [we all have 3 dominant signs]. ⬎ 

aquarius.

leo.

capricorn.

♇ the top three dominant planets that appeared in people's charts for this research was [we all have 3 dominant planets] ⬎

neptune.

moon.

saturn. 

♇ the top two dominant elements that appeared in people's charts for this research was [we mainly have 1 dominant element, but 2 can count :)] ⬎ 

earth.

air.

♇ the top three house dominance that appeared in people's chart for this research was [we can have three house dominance] ⬎ 

7H.

8H.

11H.

♇ the top two modality dominance that appeared in people's chart for this research was [we can have one modality dominance] ⬎ 

fixed.

cardinal.

♇ the top three houses that had appeared the most was ⬎

7H.

6H.

3H.

♇ the house neptune was in the most were ⬎

9H.

10H.

7H.

this is the end of the post, thank you so much for reaching to this point :)

masterlist

paid chart readings

pluto

♇

[floredaqueen]

billy and isa after a huge fight? 👀👀 (love, love, LOVVEEE your art and fics! keep up the great work, baby doll! you’re so fab :))

Hello, helloo!!♡

I love love LOOOOVVVEEE YOU!! And you're so lovely ♡♡ I hope I can do your ask justice (also sorry in advance if it takes me forever to finish but I hope you enjoyy♡>///< ♡♡

BLURB +18

TW: Deals w/Bullying, Heavy Profanity, Billy being a dickhead. Hurt w/Comfort The usual ♡

...

Isa and Billy don't really fight, especially since Isa is very conflict avoidant. She's getting better at that communication, but they rarely ever yell, scream, or say mean things to one another. If they ever did fight, it was probably during the first year they met; their senior year...

The first week of senior year for Isabela was like riding a bike. Easy A's all across the board. The Latina was already climbing the academic totem pole, and now, with all of her extracurriculars, she'd be moving faster and to new heights. She made time for other important tasks, not having much of it for boys or crushes.. that is until she heard about the new boy from Cali.

Rumors were already spreading, and he hasn't even been seen on campus anywhere yet. Just a few greetings on account to the popular girls at school, including her friend - and co-captain of the cheer squad- Nova James.

Still, though, to the intelligent Latina, it was all up to interpretation.. until she saw him strutting in with his denim on denim ensemble. His dirty blonde mullet perfectly quafted, and his ocean blue gaze stared down anyone, whether intentional or not. Her Hersheys chocolate gaze heavied one every perfect aspect he had to offer. His chilled chin was probably a dream to lovingly scratch, his very well-shaped hair, his piercing blue eyes that made her fold into herself, and his beautiful smile. He was all perfect.. too perfect.. which is why she wasn't surprised he turned out to be a complete asshole.

When they first crossed paths, he didn't even acknowledge her, the Cali boy bumping into her and only rolling his eyes in annoyance before brushing her off to the side. That when she knew he was a jerk, even if he was the most beautiful boy she's ever seen.

Later that day, she'd see him a few more times. He was notably in her calculus honors class, looking as confused as one who wasn't ready for this level of comprehension. Out of the corner of her wide eyes, Isabela could Billy trying to get someone's attention... and then he turns to her. He turns to her, whispering, "Hey,"s and "Excuse me,"s until he decides to get her attention by force.

The next thing the fresh-faced senorita knows is she's being hit on the side of the head with a balled up piece of notebook paper. She didn't believe it at first, still trying to process it right as he threw another. The second ball of paper clung to her hair as she turned around to face him, an annoyed expression on her face as she met his eyes.

As "taboo" as Isabela was to Billy, he had to admit that she wasn't half bad looking. In fact, she looked veey sweet with her pouting lip. Her eyes were so full and bright even theough her glasses, like a deer. He found it cute when she very clearly was getting nervous just by the look of him. He knew he could have that effect on people.

Billy smiled with teeth, his eyes setting on her filled out worksheet to note that she one hundred percent knew what she was doing. All of the questions filled out precisely by the slightly timid hispanic. A smart girl too? He knew it's be fun to make her lose her cool.

"What?" Isabela would whisper in annoyance, already wanting this interaction to be over. Of course, quite the opposite happened, Billy dragging on his words as if he was spelling it out for her. top!

"You mind helping me with this assignment? I'm a little lost," He asked, all with a toothy smile. Isa dead panned for a moment, letting herself express a bit of her annoyance with an eyebrow before turning to her own worksheet.

"Clearly," She muttered under her breath before handing him her notes. He looked over them and then stashed them in his notebook on the other side of her desk.

"The hell are you doing??"

"I'm gonna need this if I plan on passing any assignments for this week," Isabela huffed at his snark response as she tried to snatch his folder. Swiftly he moved his things, and her worksheet, away from her grasp.

"Give it back!" She whispered with an annoyed twitch with her upper lip. She even tried to grab at it, Billy quickly gripping her wrist only to throw her hand back in her direction.

"I don't hear that magic word, sweetness," With an eye roll and the crossing of her arms, Isa let it go, hoping she can get it back at least at the end of the day.

...

It'd be like that for the rest of the school year. Isa would be minding her business (and admiring Billy from afar) and the asshole in question would tease her and steal her work if he managed to get his hands on it. As annoying as it was it never got violent.. and it was pretty tame.. until one day.

Isa couldn't shake the feeling of so many eyes on her. She was able to hold her head high, but it felt near impossible today. When she did catch a few guys staring and snickering, she realized it was at her.. was there something on her face? In her hair..? What was their deal??

The hispanic scholar would soon find that out when she was approached by Tommy Hagan. The freckle covered guy was snickering as he walked over, crossing his sweater clad arms as he leaned against the locker beside hers.

"Wheeler, when were you gonna let me in on your dirty little secret..?" He jibed mischievously as Isa attempted to ignore him while retrieving her materials for her next class.

"What are you on about, Hagan..?" She turned to face him, her eyes rolling in response to his snarky grin. He casually shrugged his arms, not-so-subtly cornering her against the metal lockers while simultaneously spilling all of beans to her.

"Well, it seems that a hefty amount of my friends know what's under that pretty skirt of yours.. and I was wondering if I could get in on th-" Before Tommy could even finish his sentence, he was met with a hard slap against his face. It even has him stepping back a bit, giving Isabela ample time to hastily walk away from that conversation.

She knew for a fact he was spouting bullshit.. but it was strange that he had the balls to tell her, so who told him that? Who would even believe it? Whoever it was, she couldn't take for another second someone trying to shit on her perfect reputation and perception of who she really was.

By 6th period, things had only gotten worse, the overwhelmed Isabela finding herself hiding behind the abandoned bleachers that clung to the outskirts of the outdoor basketball court. She was calming herself down, attempting to get lost in one of her favorite Shakespeare fables, wondering if she'd ever find something as tantalizing as this culture phenomenon wrote about instead of having to deal with the likes of these jerks in this podink town..

One of her dainty, delicate hands wiped the tears developing in her eyes from the thought of all the mean and assuming words that were thrown her way today. Isa continued to keep her focus on the pages until she heard a snap of a twig.

The snap was caused by none other than the pretty boy she's been trying steadily to avoid, one of his calloused hands running through dirty blonde curls as the other flicked at his lighter to light the cigarette between his full lips.

She thought quickly.. too quick. She practically scattered as she jumped off the bleachers only to hide behind them on the other side as the rest of possey appeared beside him. The hung out beside on her side, too close to wear she kept herself as hidden as she could.

Their conversation went about as the latina thought it would, overhearing the socialites go on and on about on about their usual. Having or crashing parties, stealing booze from their parents' liquor cabinets, unprotected sex in the most obscene of places.. and girls.. but not just any girls. It was hurt they were joking about..

"Man, Isabela is so damn up tight," Tommy starts with a heavy huff. The side of his face was stilly slightly red from the hearty slap the latina previously gave him.

"The prude acts like she has a stick up her ass every time a guy walks up to her," He jibed, earning a soft giggle from Carol as they both relaxed against the brick wall.

"Only because she's never had dick in her life," She deduced, taking another hit of her tobacco stick.

"Yeah.. because she's boring," Billy finally snorts while crossing his denim covered arms. They both look at him with curious eyes, confused about his knowledge of the mouse that was way closer than they thought she was.

"I dont know about you, but I'm not getting a hardon for someone who's probably going to end up with cats because she doesn't know how to open her legs, "

The other takes, Isa's heard before. They were superficial and petty, especially coming from the two infamous idiots who's never worked for anything. But from Billy? Like an idiot, she thought he'd be above this, but his words hit right on her already racing heart.

"Good point," Tommy nodded, stomping out how own cig as Billy started.

"That's why I spread that rumor about her. Was trying to do her a favor. Maybe she'll actually get laid and get her first taste of dick.." The blonde said matter-of-factly as if she should be thanking him.

"Seems Billy has a soft spot for the prude," Carol would scoff teasingly, her face practically egging him on to prove her wrong. Billy, of course, denies her accusation.

"Nah. You won't ever see me going out with that bitch.."

All of those words.. those mean hurtful words. As much as she promised herself not to let it hurt her, Isa couldn't stop the constant stream of tears going down her cheeks. She tried to remain quiet, but a soft sniff of a breath gave her away.

"Who's there??" The alpha of the pack of wolves called out, his sharp blues finding sorrowful wide does eyes as Isa revealed herself to the group. They all sighed, embarrassed that she just happened to be there to listen to the conversation about her. With the tears still running down her glowing cheeks, they felt a little guilty. Not Billy, though. All Billy could think about was how pretty she looked when she cried. All sweet and innocent, even if they're hope was crushed.

"..you spread those rumors about me..?"

"C'mon, Wheeler- it was a j-"

"You're the reason why guys are following me??? Why everyone is calling me a slut, and how I simplemente no puedo guardarlo en mis pantalones cuando tÚ ERES EL VERDADERO PERRO,"

It was silent for a few seconds after that, the wind the only thing between them before Billy broke the airy stillness with a chuckle.

"You're just upset that I wouldn't waste my time on someone like you.. but," He lazily takes a heavy step forward in her direction.

"If you keep that up..." The way his eyes relaxed gave Isa pause, and then she could feel her body tense as he invaded her space. "..I might throw you a bone,"

Right then and there, she completely tensed, her hand swinging open palm to connect with his face for a hard slap. Neither of them had time to register it as the left side of Billy's face stung.

"You don't know what I could do for you," Isa's voice shook in a shaky whisper, stepping ever closer towards her bully.

"You thinking thay one would get a leg up just by being with you, when you can't even fathom how lucky you'd be to have me. To be with me..." Her sharp eyes stayed on Billy as he scoffed and kept his head held high, obviously not expecting the slightly menacing utterance of her words. For some reason, it was hard to keep a steady eye contact.. The braniac then tilted her head as her brows furrowed.

"..maybe, you wouldn't be so insecure.." was the last thing she said before she turned around and grabbed her things. Billy sucked his teeth, not even realizing that his nails were digging into his own palms.

He watched as everyone around him brushed it off as her being sensitive.. but he knew she was right. And that was something he hated about her. She was always. Fucking. Right.

...

Every other day after, Billy couldn't ignore the heavy weight in his chest. Best believe he tried, using all the usual tricks he had up his denim sleeve. But no matter how much drugs, girls, and bench pressing he did, he knew what he had to do to really get over.

Suddenly, after the usual attempt to mind melt at one of Tommy's parties, he found himself at the Wheeler residence. It was nicer than he anticipated, turning off the loud engine so as not to disturb anyone else.

Isabela was half asleep, cuddling her pillow in nothing but a tank top, mint colored undies, and sunflower socks she had recently bought from the mini market. So, when she heard -and soon saw- rocks being thrown at her window..

Begrudgingly, she got up, her footsteps as light as a feather. Billy annoyingly felt his body slightly perk uo at the sound of the front door unlocking, only to see Isa all tuckered out and peering up at him.

"Good, I got your attention.." He jibed, his hands stuffed in his jean pockets as his sharp blues took her in. Usually, Billy excelled at eye contact.. but this time around, his eyes roamed a lot more than he meant for them to.

Her curls were all messy, her nipples were poking out of her baby tee, and her bottom lip was pouted out. Fuck. Out of all the times to feel something for this girl, this was the worst time.

"What do you want, Hargrove?" She huffed, watching as he slightly awkwardly straightened up.

"I just wanted to.. uh.." He began to trail off, his eyes drifting down to her legs. Billy then only realized how he's never seen them before. They've been hidden by all the loose jeans and maxi skirts she'd wear.

He didn't expect them to be so.. toned. Every smooth curve was built with muscle even though she was known to be light on her feet. Not to mention her huge thighs.

"Yea- okay.." She rolled her eyes, going to close the door in his face only for Billy to swiftly propped his arm up against the hatch.

"I came here to... apologize" There was a long pause after that, the latina blinking a couple of times before parting her lips.

"Well, you're very bad at it," He scoffed, annoyed at her snarky remarks she'd conjure up from every word he spoke.

"Yeah, I've gathered that," He'd pause, letting the air between them fill the silence for a bit as he thought about what to say.

"You didn't deserve what I put you through. It wasn't right, and—" and as he continued to practally ramble, Billy became all the more aware of being under her scrutiny. He could feel her big brown, fatigued eyes studying his every word before her whole demeanor relax.

This.. this whole situation was weird. Why the hell did he feel like this? No girl has ever made him think twice about the words that would flawlessly flow from his kissable lips. And out of all the girls at Hawkins, it was some measly little book worm that had him fumbling.

Isa wasn't doing good either. She was starting to believe him, her mind running through his emotions as he spoke. Billy seemed sincere, but Latina refused to expose her sympathy. Her expression stayed neutral.

By the end of it, the silence between them returned and thickened, Billy cleared his throat before he crossed his strong arms.

"..As much as your apology is appreciated, I don't accept it..." She softly spoke, grabbing the edge of the hatch. As he tried to protest, he was met with a door being shut in his face.

♡♥︎♡...♥︎♡♥︎

[thewertsearch]

GG: hi kanaya! it is nice to meet you GA: Hi Jade

D’aww. Our two Aspect sisters, face-to-face at last.

I imagine these two will become fast friends - and, oddly enough, I think the same could be true of Rose and Vriska. I think they'd either really like each other, or really hate each other.

AA: kanaya tell us what happened next! GA: There Isnt Much To Say GA: I Repaired The Doll And Made Him A Nice Outfit GA: With A Far More Becoming Palette And Fit Than The Absurd Tatters He Was Found In

Cal's the most dangerous Felt member of all, naturally. He outranks English himself!

This could easily be foreshadowing, honestly. Cal's definitely plot relevant, and he totally could be connected to the...

...

.... the felt?

The Felt? The god damn Felt?

The living puppet might be connected to the FELT?

Fuck me running. This is foreshadowing, isn't it?

Cal is actually connected to the Felt. He's a tool they use, or a manifestation of one of their powers, or something. Of course he's a literal puppet of Doc Scratch's grand plan. Of fucking course.

:(

It makes sense that Tavros would enter the Bubbles through this scene, since he was killed in essentially the same way. Poor guy got mugged on Memory Lane.

GA: I Quickly Began To Find The Doll Unnerving So I Put Him Away

Kanaya, you are the smartest motherfucker in this comic.

AA: this is only a piece of the story AA: the other pieces will fall into place with successive memories and it will all become clear AA: […] i will eliminate some suspense and try to serve as a better guide on this tour through the catacombs of our collective subconscious AA: the separate tunnels we once traveled in the dark as individuals we now retrace together with a torch

I really like how Aradia's wasting absolutely no time. Her first act as a living girl is to gather everyone she can in the Bubbles, and her second act is to start absolutely vomiting information, clearly determined to share everything her ghost held back.

No more allusions, riddles, or dancing around the truth. It’s time to pool our knowledge, and figure. Shit. Out.

AT: i REMEMBER GETTING JUMPED OFF THE CLIFF BY MY LEGS, AT: bUT NOT THE THING i'M DOING NOW, […] AA: our manipulator disguised his tracks well

Scratch – because, come on, why pretend there's any ambiguity - somehow forced Tavros to use his psionics unconsciously. Who knows how he pulled that one off, but that's not what's important.

What's important is the million-Boondollar question.

Namely: what is the most dangerous Alternian animal Doc Scratch could possibly control?

...oh, no.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

Hello,

I really enjoy your comic. Both from aesthetic and informative point of viev. I have a question about begging stages of your crative process. How did you pick a suitalbe art style for a comic of that sort? I'm asking because I want to illustrate my struggles with OCD in similar form (I can never find any good representation of OCD in media and it's so often used as a comic relief I'm sick of it, so I thought if i want to see it I'd betterdraw it myself) However my usual art style is way too complicated for a comic like that and i don't know how to simlify it without copying anyone else's style.

I am aware asking you about art related advice might be too much, so you don't have to respond. But your comics are really good and i wanted to ask about it a person who does it well. And please tell me if me asking is inappropriate, I have trouble discerning what i am allowed to ask for and what is impolite.

I apologise if my message is unclear. My way of communicating tends to be chaotic and I'm afraid I'll be misunderstood so I tend to talk way too much. Also English is not my first language.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Don't worry, I'm very happy to talk about my art process!

I deliberately simplified my art style for It's a Spectrum since I wanted to be able to draw them quickly and get my ideas across clearly without worrying too much about the art being 'good enough'. My usual art style is closer to what I'm using for my graphic novel:

They have more realistic eyes! And body proportions! They actually have noses!

For It's a Spectrum I focused on simplfying the things I find more difficult or time consuming like eyes, clothes, shading, and backgrounds, and I avoid drawing more complicated poses or angles unless it's necessary to get my point across.

Dots for eyes, no background, just head and shoulders, didn't even draw hands for this one.

One way to learn to simplify your art is by trying to draw really quickly without losing the most important parts of the drawing. Have you seen those drawing challenges where you have 10 minutes to draw an object, then 5 minutes, then 1 minute, then 10 seconds? That's a really good way to practice because in the end you're forced to avoid adding any detail that isn't completely necessary.

Also, look at other comics with styles you like! There's nothing wrong with taking inspiration and mix and matching different aspects into your own work. At first your art might start off looking similar to others, but the more different people you're inspired by and the more you draw your own work, the more you'll develop your own style.

If you do make any illustrations about OCD, feel free to send them my way! I would love to see them :)

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi! Love your blog!

We know that made Lestat's abuse of Louis way more prominent in show (decision I still don't agree with but that's not the matter) and we have Jacob saying that s2 is way darker than book. People speculate that it's because they'll include FrankenClaudia who technically wasn't in this particular book but do you think they'll make Loumands relationship more toxic too like they did with Loustat? (I know they added romance to loustat but they also added beating scene that was on way way more smaller scale in book). Do you think they'll add more gaslighting? Emphasize on Armand making Louis turn Madeleine against his will?

Thank you for answering!

Hey nonny!

So glad you like!

I do think that they will heavily lean into that, yes. (And this "interview" is already held with the content of several books, so imho it doesn't really matter where the content comes from... Rolin held 6? or 7 books up to the camera^^). This will be a bit longer^^:

As all things are said to be revisited we will see how s1 will hold up, but of course it will stay correct that they emphasized the abuse vector. And that is a very valid thing for the Vampire Chronicles! There is a LOT in there, especially abuse, but also like... everything else, too. (As the Twitter discourse currently on Marius also... shows.)

So to get back to your actual question: yes I do think they will emphasize this part (though if they add more? We will see.), I think they have already hinted at that in season 1, but the book canon and their chosen promotional posters give us a very poignant hint here as well.

If we look at the "elevator posters" for example, we have Lestat, Louis and Claudia looking sideways at the observer*, in various state of emotions: fear, anger, and aware consternation (maybe), respectively.

And then we have Armand, *the observer, who looks down the length of his nose at them, with an air of superiority and a hint of a smile, clearly the one in charge:

It is also important to note that he is half in shadow but from the front here, not sideways as the others. The other three are almost completely "in the light", visible as it were. Armand... is not.

Now, if you remember the poster of season 1, then this is a direct echo of it, as well as a development from it:

Lestat was only half visible, behind Louis, since we only heard of him through Louis. Now he is in the same "position" as Louis and Claudia, almost fully revealed.

It is interesting that those elevator pictures keep Claudia in this position here, too, but it makes sense when one knows what will revealed only in later books about her and her play (I have talked about the twist from Merrick).

Now the posters sold at SDCC are equally interesting, because they speak their own language:

First off, we have Louis, holding the mask of Lestat in his hand, a mask taken off, and the mask echoes Lestat's "death face". He is looking into space, beyond it, and he seems to be seated in the back of a stage (given that we have a scene photo with Lestat seated on stage that carries ... repercussions^^).

"La mémoire est un monstre". The second half of IWTV is (among other things of course) Louis yearning for Lestat and learning a few... uncomfortable truths. Masks are taken off, and the revelations will be bloody. Louis will be condemned to be a spectator for some of them, and in the book it culminates in a very poignant speech about passivity.

And then there's Claudia. "La famille est un monstre." Dancing as Carmen, the red flamenco dress making her seem older than she is (supposed to be). The dress emulates flames, the audience is dead. She is almost smirking at the beholder, definitely proud of who she is, and her feet are naked.

"Carmen, a searing depiction of a woman who craves love, but creates obsession and jealousy, is one of the most popular operas ever written." (x)

The Carmen reference feels perfect for me, it will be very interesting to see which aspects they take up for the show, who Madeleine will be, given the World War 2 context, and the jealousy of the soldier in the original opera.

Then there is "L'amour est un monstre". Love is a monster. Love is the monster. The lover is the monster. For these vampires all these variations fit, and I do not just mean Loumand here, but generally.

Armand seems to say something to Louis, who is looking into space, with a slight frown.

The movie poster from "Gaslight", a movie about a whirlwind romance and the new husband isolating the wife from the world and "gaslighting" her to make her appear mad and doubt her own sanity to get at what she possesses... now the IWTV people know what they're doing *laughs*

Anyone who has read IWTV and TVA knows that Armand spell-binds Louis on several occasions, and influences him to do things, for example turning Madeleine, as you mentioned.

Interestingly enough there is also a man with a face half in light, half in shadows here - and that is echoed on Louis in the poster, one half is painted red - indicating he doubles with the police officer of the movie, discovering the things that are supposed to be hidden from him.

And, last but definitely not least, the general poster, without caption:

Lestat is "almost" revealed, our "view" of him still restricted somewhat by Louis and Claudia, as well from the theater curtain.

Claudia is engaged with whatever is happening beyond our view, Louis... is not. He is restraining himself, hands in pockets, mouth set and his gaze is dark, somewhere between accusation and anger. Lestat's gaze is open here, carrying a vague challenge, an expectation.

If we take the elevator pictures back into account one could argue they are looking at Armand here - and that would fit with the story:

Lestat will come to Armand hoping for something, expecting something. Louis will come to some very uncomfortable realizations, and events that will make him beyond angry. Claudia will try to move on, leave Armand behind. And even Louis, arguably.

So to wrap this up: I'm not sure they will add more gaslighting. More toxicity.

Because I don't think they actually need to! There is plenty there already. They will however build on what's there, and it has been more than hinted at imho. (Arguably that happened in season 1 as well, as a lot of that ep 5 scene echoes something in later books, and we will know only after season 2 how it will click into place.)

Armand uses his spell-gift on Louis even after promising not to do it (in the book, I talked about it here), and given how this show drags things into the light they will definitely hook into this. I think both definitions of "gaslighting" will apply - given the structure of the show they might make Armand the "villain" (that he was in the first books) this time round, though of course this word doesn't quite fit for these vampires.

Armand is the one who tortures Nicki and chops off his hands. We are getting flashbacks to that time, and we know that we will get to see Lestat and Nicki in that time. I would bet money on it that they will explore that part of their history.

Armand is the one who tortures Lestat, and uses him to pull the mock trial off.

Armand is the one who throws Lestat off a tower, challenging him to love him... a scene many book readers expect to at the very least echo, if not replace the ep5 scene, depending on how they spin it.

Armand is the one who influences Louis to do things, and who lies to both Louis and Lestat about the other.

Armand is the one who has Claudia (and Madeleine) killed, because she was in the way.

I know show only viewers see Lestat as the epitome of toxicity right now, but... he's actually not. Jacob put it well in that interview that Louis is "angry at him and presents him as a monster".

The show made choices, and given that it's Lestat (who is just the tiniest bit important for the following seasons/books after all)... this requires other choices to be made.

And going by the posters they have given us - they do.

[the-virgoperspective]

Part 1

Hello all! I just wanted to share what I have been learning while reading up on composite charts. The composite chart is a very interesting and helpful tool to show one what a relationship looks like with themselves and another person. The composite chart is casted by using the midpoint of each planet from each individual natal chart and creating a completely new chart for the individuals as one. This method can apply for just two people or multiple people. For a better understanding of midpoints in astrology, please click here.

In this post, I will be using the writings of Robert Hand, from his novel “Planets in Composite: Analyzing Human Relations” to explain the meaning and significance of each house in the composite chart. Please always keep in mind that this is only one vital step to reading an entire composite chart and should not be seriously considered without viewing everything as a whole. This is just one piece. Enjoy!

The Composite 1H

The first house of the composite chart is one of the angular houses, which gives greater significance to any planet that is in it. Beyond that, however, the first house is the persona of a relationship and indicates the kind of impression it will make on its surroundings and how it will be viewed by others. It tells to what extent a couple will be regarded as a unit in their own right rather than as two separate individuals. The first house resembles the tenth somewhat, but there is an important difference, in that the tenth represents the reality of what the relationship is to the outer world. The first house describes the impression the relationship gives rather than what it really is. A strong first house can be an indication of a relationship that is all show and no substance. The tenth more clearly indicates substance, at least from the standpoint of social significance. Nevertheless, a strong first house is usually a sign of a significant relationship that will have a great impact on the lives of those involved.

The Composite 2H

The second house of the composite chart refers to values-what the two people value, and their relationship to what is valued. This can operate on two different planes. The second house can indicate the role that value-systems play in forming the relationship, that is, to what extent people come together because they value similar things or ideas. If the second house contains difficult aspects, particularly ones involving Pluto and Mars, disagreements over values may be a major source of conflict within the relationship. Similarly, positive aspects indicate that the couple has compatible values, which helps to bind the relationship together.

On another plane, clearly related to the first, the composite second house refers to whatever finances and property there may be in the relationship.

The Composite 3H

The composite third house has essentially the same meanings as the third house in a conventional birth chart: communication, mind, routine day-to-day environment, and relatives. In the composite chart the communications aspect is especially important. If the people in a relationship cannot communicate, they are in real trouble. Very often in a close personal relationship, each partner expects the other to understand them on some deep, intuitive level that does not involve words. When the couple discovers that this deep understanding does not exist, they are most upset and hurt. An afflicted third house usually indicates lack of communication in some way. This should be watched for.

A relationship with a strong third house usually comes about because of mental affinity. The two people are fond of talking with each other and exchanging ideas. Their only real problem arises in a close personal relationship, for mental exchange may become a substitute for a much-needed deep emotional exchange. Otherwise, a third-house relationship is perfectly fine.

The Composite 4H

The fourth house represents more than the home, especially in the composite chart. Many relationships have nothing that could be called a home, and yet the fourth house remains important.

First of all, it is one of the angular houses, which gives it added significance. But more fundamentally, the fourth house indicates the basic roots of a relationship-both literally, in geographic terms, and figuratively, in terms of mental and emotional background. The fourth house signifies the innermost depths of a relationship, which may be so far within as to be invisible at the surface.

The fourth house should be checked to see if there is an underlying compatibility between two people. Do they have compatible backgrounds in the senses just described, and are their basic emotional and psychological characteristics compatible?

A composite chart with a strong fourth house usually indicates that the two people share their innermost lives and that they probably share their actual place of residence.

The Composite 5H

The fifth house in the composite chart has many of the same meanings that it has in a conventional chart-love affairs, children (where this is appropriate), creativity, self-expression, and so forth. The interpretation of self-expression, however, is especially critical in a composite chart.

The composite fifth house represents, first of all, to what extent the relationship provides a setting for the individuals to be themselves in the most genuine and honest way possible. The fifth house signifies the ability of the individuals to be real in each other’s presence, which is not always easy. And being real should not be an effort. An ideal relationship allows each person to be real and to feel that it is easy to do so. When the fifth house operates smoothly, it is easy to enjoy oneself with the other without feeling that something unnatural is expected. A badly aspected fifth house, on the other hand, indicates the opposite.

In a fifth house relationship a couple is not together to form a team or partnership, but because they enjoy being themselves in each other’s company and because they enjoy each other. For this reason, this is the house of love affairs and of friendships (which are also ruled by the eleventh house). The staying power needed for a marriage or other long-term partnership may not be provided by a purely fifth-house relationship.

The Composite 6H

The composite sixth house can signify real obstacles to a satisfactory personal relationship. Somewhat like the sixth house of a conventional horoscope, it refers to the duties and responsibilities that the relationship must fulfill. Of course, all relationships have obligations, and in most cases they are not likely to be harmful. Duties become a problem only when they are the major element of a relationship, with no room for necessary self-expression as ruled by the fifth house. In a business relationship this is not a great problem; there are tasks to be done and obligations to be met. Only if the circumstances call for work to be done does a strong sixth house become an advantage. To make good use of these energies requires that the two people approach even a personal relationship from a strong sense of personal duty.

Health, the other traditional meaning of the sixth house, seems to have little relevance to a composite chart, except as it may indicate a business or professional relationship relating to health.

part 2

 red divider by @cafekitsune   image + support banner by @roseschoices 

[stelladess]

So I was writing a thing comparing Ch´en´s character arc in the anime and in the game, and how various changes alter things. Problem is I got writer´s block on it and cannot figure out how to make it written in a way that is interesting to read. So not sure if ill ever get that one done but for now there is an aspect to her relationship with Amiya that I wish to highlight that I have not seen pointed out much really.

I originally wrote several paragraphs going over Ch´en´s relationship to her uncle and her unnamed father and also on Wei Yenwu´s personality and background. But it was kind of getting away from the point. So the important thing here is that Ch´en´s father would be aggressive, yelling and demeaning towards her or ignore her. While Wei Yenwu was very emotionally distant on purpose and would generally not acknowledge any of her successes, just point out her shortcomings or try to make her see how naive she was and to become more of a ruthless pragmatist. Just know that Wei Yenwu is a deeper character and was until they suddenly dropped him as a villain one of the most interesting villains in the game to me.

So the interesting thing here is, pre character development Ch´en treats Amiya like her father figures treated her. Which I find interesting for multiple reasons, one is that after we find out from Hoshiguma that Ch´en actually likes Amiya and keeps praising her in private, it makes a lot of sense. Ch´en is clearly trying to teach Amiya, so she defaults to (especially Wei Yenwu´s) teaching methods. Which to Amiya just comes across as Ch´en being a massive jerk for no good reason. And when Ch´en´s patience runs thin she lashes out in anger.

The second reason is that she defaults to her male parental figures methods. Not her significantly nicer aunt for example. I think one could read that in multiple ways, maybe she just thinks of Wei Yenwu as more of a "teacher" type, maybe she just has been influenced more by his thinking, maybe she identifies more with traditionally male roles or behaviours (whether you see this in a trans reading or not both are valid readings imo, I am planning to write something about gender on Terra because I disagree with the "Terra is fully egalitarian" takes that come up sometimes). Either way it is interesting that she specifically emulates her uncle especially, and on a more subconscious level her father.

That said, Ch´en does start growing out of this fairly early on, as early as chapter 3. Where she actually tries to comfort Amiya somewhat after Misha´s death. She gives her advice that while harsh, still expresses support for Amiya´s ideals and she clearly hopes Amiya will be able to succeed. She is just unsure it is possible. I think this is also an interesting layer to their dynamic, that Ch´en believes Amiya is like her own younger more naive self and needs to see the cold harsh reality. Both failing to realize she herself has grown overly cynical and that Amiya already *knows* life sucks, something Ch´en seems to only really fully grasp in chapter 5, around when Hoshiguma points out to her it is unlikely Amiya, as an infected child soldier, has done something so simple as gone shopping around town. This is why Ch´en inviting Amiya to just... go out to eat somewhere nice after things have settled down matters a lot. It shows how Ch´en is becoming a more considerate person. She is growing out of her uncle´s abusive teaching methods.

She is not only trying to teach Amiya knowledge she needs, but also caring about her mental wellbeing.

What I am saying is that Wei Yenwu and Ch´en (no personal name given) are examples of toxic masculinity and Ch´en Hui-Chieh grows into an example of positive masculinity. /s

No but in all seriousness, she is trying to work her own issues out while helping the people around her and figure out what justice even is while also making an active effort to be a kinder, more considerate person who does not try to force her own ideas about how a leader should behave on anyone anymore.

Also to be clear I am not saying "add Ch´en to the ever growing list of mom´s for Amiya", I think Ch´en has a dynamic more comparable to Blaze or Wis´adel with Amiya. I am saying her attempts at teaching someone something has her defaulting to the teaching methods of her uncle, who is a terrible teacher. And how this is important because we very directly see Ch´en growing to be better then her uncle. Since Wei Yenwu when accounting for his backstory is also kind of a fallen hero it is nice to see Ch´en climb her way out of the hole her cynicism had dug her and work to improve herself, and I think her relationship with Amiya is a surprisingly underrated part of that.

[overthinkthis]

Final thoughts on MMDIY

This is not going to be a review because I don't really do that kind of thing, but I do want to write about the point that I loved most about this show. I know it's not perfect but I will forgive a lot of wobbles in plot or editing when a show emotionally resonates with me or makes me feel seen in a way other shows don't. And the way queer struggles were portrayed in mmdiy definitely did that.

Neither Wan nor Kim are out as queer but it's like they're living in an open closet. It should be obvious to everyone (even themselves) that they love each other and yet, for the longest time they seem unable to make that last step and confess their love, even though they both desperately want to on some level.

We do get some explicit homophobia with regard to Wan's career but it very quickly becomes obvious that that isn't the actual problem. Wan is very well able to stand her ground when she is attacked directly, we see that with Jessie and with Marwin's family. She is ready to confess to Kim, plans to do so multiple times. Why is it so hard to make that last step?

I do not know what the creators of the show were trying to say, but what I feel when watching the show, is the impact of the invisible homophobia and misogyny woven into all of society. The kind that isn't openly hostile but consistenly equates happiness for women with straight marriage and queerness with being miserable. We can write essays about comphet, but to me, this show gives a good take on what it actually feels like to be pressed into this expectation (although, I should probably say that I come at this from the perspective of a trans guy, not a lesbian - I still think a lot of the feelings are similar).

I love the conversation between Wan and Kim and the end of ep 9, where Kim tells her that she is going to marry Marwin. She basically admits that she doesn't love him, but she is still going to marry him because her mother wants her to.

And we know her mum isn't really trying to control Kim or make her miserable - quite the opposite. All she wants is for Kim to be happy. She should probably know better - given how her own marriage ended - but the idea that marrying the 'perfect' guy is the pinnacle of female happiness is so ingrained in society that it's understandable why she still falls into this trap. I really like that they show how suffocating a parent only wanting what's 'best' for their child can be.

I love that this show made Marwin someone who looks like such a good catch. I mean, there were some red flags from the start, but at a time where Wan was more controlling and aggressive, he genuinely looked like the better option. Gentle, patient, rich (some people even commented that the show made them ship the straight couple). The kind of guy that would be endgame in every second cheesy het romcom.

The people around Kim can kind of feel that he isn't right for her (even Marwin on some level does) but they still all enable her terrible decision to marry him. Which is another aspect I like about the show: The conflict is only resolved when Wan and Kim choose each other.

Women are constantly discouraged from going for what they want, especially when it causes other people distress, but the show clearly says: They make this choice for themselves, even though it hurts people, and that is how they get their happy ending. Not by being perfect all the time, not by caring about everyone else's feelings, but by choosing what they want for themselves.

And yes, obvisouly the whole thing could have been resolved earlier with less people getting hurt. But in another sense it couldn't, because they weren't ready. It's easy to blame Kim and Wan for not being more honest earlier on, but we can't do so without acknowledging the silent (and sometimes very loud) pressure to conform to heteronormativity.

I know some people didn't like this show very much and I do hope you all get all the kinds of GLs you're longing for soon. But imo it shows important aspects of queer experiences that we don't see a lot. And I'm really glad it exists in the way it does.

[merwgue]

The absolute dumpster fire that is ACOSF and if I had the choice to I would erase it from my memory:

Let’s talk about A Court of Silver Flames, where logic goes to die and every character makes the absolute worst decisions. It’s like Sarah J. Maas took one look at the concept of personal autonomy and thought, “Nah, let’s replace it with some good ol’ authoritarianism, terrible communication, and emotional manipulation!” And guess who’s at the heart of all this madness? Our beloved High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, Rhysand and Feyre. The power couple we’re supposed to root for—except, plot twist, they’re probably the worst people to ever lead anything, let alone an entire court.

Let’s Start With Locking Nesta Up – Because Who Needs Therapy?

Ah yes, Rhysand and Feyre’s grand plan to “fix” Nesta: lock her up. Forget about therapy or actually talking to her like she’s a person with autonomy. No, no. The best solution is clearly to force her into isolation in the House of Wind. What a brilliant move! Because nothing says mental health recovery like a glorified time-out in the sky with zero chance of escape.

Rhysand and Feyre, in their infinite wisdom, decide Nesta’s problems can only be solved through forced training and “tough love.” Never mind the fact that Nesta has been through war, trauma, and, oh yeah, did we mention PTSD? Clearly, locking her up and controlling every aspect of her life is the most compassionate route. Why bother giving her choices when you can just strip them away for her own good, right? Besides, it’s not like they care about actually addressing the root of her issues. As long as Nesta becomes the compliant little sister Feyre always wanted, who cares about her emotional scars?

And let’s not even get into the moral implications. You’d think, after all Rhysand went through Under the Mountain, he’d be a little more careful about, you know, controlling other people’s lives. But nope! Apparently, totalitarianism is fine as long as it’s wrapped up in flowery speeches about love and family. So progressive!

Feyre’s Pregnancy: Where is the Choice? Spoiler: There Isn’t One

Then there’s Feyre’s pregnancy plotline, or as I like to call it: “Rhysand's Pro-Life Power Play.” Because what’s more feminist than completely removing a woman’s agency when it comes to her own body?

Rhysand knows from the beginning that Feyre’s pregnancy is a death sentence. Does he tell her? Of course not! Why would you ever give your partner the chance to make an informed decision about her own life? That would be way too much like respect and love. Instead, Rhysand just... lets it happen. He decides it’s better to let Feyre figure out that her wingspan baby is going to kill her after it’s too late.

But wait! It gets better. Rhysand decides that if Feyre dies during childbirth, he’s going to die with her. How romantic, right? Except for the fact that it’s the most selfish, irresponsible move he could make. This isn’t a love story—it’s a leadership failure. Rhys is so wrapped up in his Feyre-dying-with-me fantasy that he doesn’t even care about what happens to the actual Night Court. You know, the court he’s supposed to be ruling.

Rhys: “If Feyre dies, I’ll just die too. It’s fine. Amren will handle it.”

Amren, who has already sacrificed enough, is expected to pick up the pieces yet again because Rhysand can’t be bothered to plan for the literal future of his people. Oh, and did he even bother telling Amren that she might have to run the Night Court for the second time? Nope. Why communicate important things like that when you can just die dramatically instead?

Rhysand and Feyre: The Power Couple We Never Needed

Let’s really break down this trainwreck of a couple. First off, Feyre’s entire arc has been swallowed by her relationship with Rhys. Remember how she was supposed to be this independent woman? Yeah, that’s cute. But it turns out, her independence only exists when Rhysand approves of it. Their relationship is all about “choice,” but only if it aligns with what Rhys thinks is best.

Feyre, at the end of the day, is just another cog in Rhysand’s Great Leader complex. She’s constantly propped up as this feminist icon, but her choices are always manipulated by Rhys. Whether it’s going to war, having a child, or, you know, surviving childbirth, it’s always Rhys pulling the strings. If you think about it, Feyre’s “independence” has only been traded from one manipulative man to another. Tamlin was too controlling, but Rhys? He’s controlling for her own good. How convenient!

And then there’s Rhysand, our oh-so-perfect High Lord. Except, newsflash, Rhys is just as insecure and broken as the rest of them. His constant need to be the savior, the martyr, the all-knowing leader is exhausting. He can’t help but make everything about himself, even Feyre’s literal death. Rhysand isn’t a protector—he’s a narcissist with a god complex. And the fact that the entire Inner Circle just stands by and lets him act like this? It’s a miracle the Night Court hasn’t crumbled yet.

Cassian and Nesta: Let’s Just Ignore Our Feelings, Shall We?

Let’s not forget about Cassian and Nesta in this mess. Cassian, the oh-so-loyal general, is too busy being Rhysand’s lapdog to actually think about Nesta’s needs. Sure, he cares about her. But instead of helping her deal with her trauma in a healthy way, he’s like, “Let’s train until you’re too tired to feel anything!” Perfect plan. Rhysand would be so proud. And Nesta? She’s clearly been rewritten into a sex-crazed, self-loathing mess, because gods forbid we have a modest, complex woman character in this series. SJM couldn’t stand the thought of a female lead who doesn’t use sex and alcohol as coping mechanisms.

And did Cassian ever confront Rhys about locking Nesta up without her consent? Of course not! Because no one in this court actually communicates with each other. They just fall in line behind Rhys’s idiotic plans, hoping for the best.

In Conclusion: The Night Court is a Disaster Waiting to Happen

In the end, the entire plot of ACOSF is built on terrible leadership, forced confinement, emotional manipulation, and withholding critical information. Rhysand and Feyre are held up as this power couple, but in reality, they’re just two deeply flawed individuals who’ve made a series of reckless decisions that will probably destroy the Night Court one day.

But don’t worry, everyone. It’s all wrapped up in some sparkly “feminist” packaging, so it’s fine! Who needs actual character growth, communication, or autonomy when you can have sex scenes and pretty prose instead?

[terrythemerry]

Alma notes/logs + some of my thoughts on them.

Warning these notes are very spoiler heavy and talks about a lot of late game content.

@elffees

These are some of Alma’s easiest to find notes and on the surface they paint a picture of a kind, maternal woman worried about the kids she was forced to leave behind. Two words jump out at me in the last two notes though “sacrifice” and “choice. I’ll talk about that at the end though. The next part is where things get messy.

These are all her notes, the rest of this is going to be a bit of a rant because these last few notes are the ones that make my blood boil.

Alma never planned on rescuing them. While putting on a motherly facade she planned on leaving all of the Sarentu survivors to rot until their life support gave out. The only thing that made her act was the fact that wonderful Priya found out we were there, otherwise no one was coming for us.

Then there is how she refers to the children in “The Final Option”. She talks about all the potential glory and accolades she’ll get once she “has” them. Not when they come to her, when she possesses them. She acts like she doesn’t know in the notes, but she admits in game that deep down she knew they were going to steal the kids and killed Na’vi and let it happen anyway so she could have her little project. This is the “sacrifice” she’s trying to frame in the note “Back to Tap”. Personally I don’t see how a genocide and kidnapping is in anyway a “sacrifice”, sounds more like a war crime to me.

Last is the School Records and two things important to note are the initials in the document and the of “additional note” versus “note”. The initials show that only two people wrote in this document AC (Alma Cortez) and JM (John Mercer). Every single section degrades the children and talks about the “best” ways to manipulate them to TAP’s goals before being followed up with an “additional note” by Alma saying the opposite. The thing is I fully believe that Alma wrote the original sections and that the “additional notes” have been edited in later to try and cover her involvement in TAP.

The thing that makes me think this is Alma’s position as teacher and Mercer’s note. Alma was the one who spent the most time with the students, she’s the one who observed every aspect of their day to day, so she is the only person it would logically make sense to write about their temperaments and interests. Mercer had other things to do besides sitting around a classroom all day watching these kids, same for Harding. They’d be able to step in as discipline and for surprise inspections, but Alma was clearly the main observer. That means all the coded talk about discipline(abuse) and skills(usefulness to the RDA) is all her.

Mercer’s note was the big tip off to me that she retroactively edited the document. Mercer’s only note is that Aha’ri was killed. It was probably entered immediately after her death, because Mercer doesn’t care. He’s meticulous, organized, compulsive, etc. He doesn’t see the children as anything more than a tool so he has no shame in updating the document like it was a regular note about a generator going out. Because he entered it immediately the entry was logged as “note”.

A lot of websites will mark a comment as edited after a certain amount of time has passed. I feel like this is the case with the “note” vs “additional note”. The second giveaway is that Alma’s final note calling Mercer’s murderer is also logged as an “additional note” when there is no reason for Alma to manually input it herself. By that logic all of the additional notes were logged long after the original document was made and it’s just Alma’s way of trying to minimize her role in the abuse at TAP. This means that all of the suggested “discipline” aka brutal bone breaking and beatings was recommended by her in certain cases.

Alma isn’t a good person, she has a toxic savior complex and will go to any means to see that vision met. She might be on the right side, she might be doing good things now, but she is not a good person. Maybe she can be forgiven one day, but she’s still in toomuch denial about her own involvement to be forgiven this day.